#especially something as silly as a certain ship

[anonymous-ace72]

Doesn't matter if I like or dislike the subject matter, whenever I see a whole blog fully centered around hating a certain piece of media or something or other, I die a little on the inside.

[noxtivagus]

ffxiv really influenced my writing huh

[theremustbeabear]

a lot of monster media has a hard time with balancing making their monster incredibly dangerous but also keeping the most important characters alive without it seeming like obvious plot armour

but i think the terror does a really great job--not just because they do allow it to kill a number of important characters, but because of the composition of the two scenes where tuunbaq is beaten

the first, in ep 5, is when tuunbaq chases blanky up the foremast, which, on the surface, seems like a very obvious case of plot armour. tuunbaq kills several other crewmen with incredible ease in that very same scene, but then blanky is spared long enough to escape from it, simply because he's an important character.

but that's not what's going on there. all of the easy deaths, so far, prior to this, have occurred on tuunbaq's territory. on flat ground, on the ice, and now tuunbaq is staking its claim on terror. but terror is still occupied, and blanky, especially, is a man who is more at home on a ship than land. tuunbaq is beaten, here, because blanky is playing with a home turf advantage. blanky does have armour, but it's not because he's an important character--it's because tuunbaq has invaded the space where he's most comfortable, and so he goes up, to where he knows a bear can still follow him, but it'll be exposed, and too heavy to follow him all the way.

and this show has done a great job of setting the stakes, already, by this point--the first time i watched this scene, even though blanky was so far surviving the confrontation, i was incredibly sure that he wasn't going to make it out. i thought for certain that he was going to have to sacrifice himself in order for them to hit tuunbaq with the cannon, and so it was deeply satisfying when he actually survived. i was so fucking happy, because i was already starting to get sad about him being dead, even though he wasn't dead yet, lol. it feels earned, when he makes it out, and fair enough that he loses a leg in the process, too.

the second, in the final episode, is i think a bit more obvious, and considering how many other major characters get torn apart, it doesn't feel quite so much like crozier has plot armour. but tuunbaq is once again beaten by using the things that are not native to its land, that tuunbaq isn't designed to deal with. the sick and poisoned flesh of the seamen it's already consumed, for one, and then the boat chain.

and, for the second time, in order to beat tuunbaq, a limb must be sacrificed--crozier's hand, i think, counts, even though he loses it after the confrontation is long over, because blanky only loses his leg properly after the fact as well. and i think this can be brought around to how tuunbaq's shaman must remove their own tongue to communicate with it--if one wishes to have any sort of dominance over tuunbaq, a part of their body must be given in exchange. silna and her father give their tongues, blanky gives his leg, and crozier gives his hand.

and it is emphasized through hickey's failure that tuunbaq cannot be controlled by the expeditioners. the colonizers. it can be beaten back, and suppressed, and killed, through sacrifice, but it cannot be harnessed. it belongs to silna's people, to the inuit, and cannot truly be taken away. the only way to beat it is by invading its home with foreign powers and losing something of yourself in the process.

tl;dr thomas blanky doesn't need plot armour because he's just that good /silly and also this show is just. awesome.

[boss-poss]

See, Lethal Company's real genius is that it somehow marries two normally opposed genres, those being horror and comedy together into something greater. Mechanically it's a multiplayer looter extraction survival type game. It's designed to create stressful and scary situations by forcing you to speedrun mini randomized dungeons while monsters hunt your character to meet a certain quota (our asses are not making quota). That's not the clever part though, no, that's giving the players the ability to fuck themselves over and the hilarity that comes from it.

Anything you say into your mic is said in the game world and can be heard by certain monsters. Many items, similarly, can be used to make noise and you can bet there is little impulse control when a player finds an air horn or gets a walkie talkie. The sound of a distant honk somewhere out of nowhere is not something most players are prepared for while in a pitch black maze. Sound in this game has a doppler effect, which makes it harder to hear the further away the source is, allowing screams to fade into nothing and unintelligible yelling heard for a second before vanishing. You must rely on your senses but those are, by design, limited and regularly tricked.

Because level layouts, monster locations, and item spawns are all random, it's insanely easy to get lost or lose track of thigs, especially in the dark and especially when panicking. Seeing a bracken for the first time will almost certainly send a player running in the opposite direction and get lost, if they even see it all. No one is prepared to have a hand wrap around their face and snap their neck in an instant. It's utterly shocking and will leave you gasping in surprise to first time you experience it.

Certain weather patterns make levels harder, some even nearly impossible (looking at you eclipse), and sometimes your options are avoiding deadly lightning or not being able to see due to fog. High level moons have excessively valuable loot but also feature the worst foes and cost a fee to access, forcing a compromise between greed, ability, and resources.

Dying, likewise incurs a penalties. Your team is fined for dying and not bringing the bodies back but if you all die, all your collected loot goes poof. Gone. A team wipe can and will effectively end the run in an instant if you do something stupid like stick around when you hear "pop goes the weasel" or try to pick up that funny looking roomba. You can almost feel the pressure weighing down on your shoulders when you realize you're the last one left and you need to get back to the ship or miss the quota.

The monsters likewise, are engines of terror that are comically effective killing machines with no cohesive theme to help anticipate them. The already mentioned bracken is one of the scariest things I've seen in a game, and those technically aren't even that bad. They're completely manageable if you keep your head on a swivel and pay attention to your surroundings. Coilheads are these mannequins with bobble heads that will path to and kill you in a microsecond the moment you aren't looking at them, weeping angel style. There's a thing called the ghost girl that I have yet to see but is apparently one of the most terrifying critters in the menagerie. Forest giants. If you know, you know.

All these little mechanics, these choices that are made by and for the player, create a maelstrom of unpredictable chaos that, like a buxom blond transforming into an orgasming pooltoy, turns what would be strictly serious horror into a unique form of dark comedy that layers over it like jelly on peanut butter. You are scared, you are on edge, and it only gets worse when you know what these things are capable of, but the sheer hopelessness is something you all have in common. It's funny how little hope you have. You will die. A monster will wipe your team. There will eventually come a quota you can't beat. You were doomed from the start.

So why not get silly with it? Why not try to fight that bracken with shovel? Fuck him. Why not just run past a turret and try to nab that fat jar of pickles? Why not wander off from the group? You're just as likely to come back with arms loaded and the quota met as you are likely to not come back at all. You're already dead, so take the gamble, do stupid shit, repeat this hell until you can meet its horrors with grim determination and put in the effort to afford that goddamn boombox. Dance. Just press 1 and dance the fear away.

You are all united in your mortality and duty, fragile sacks of flesh working to break even at the behest of perhaps the greatest horror of all: The company you work for. You are so preposterously fucked beyond all belief from every angle there really isn't enough adjectives to describe it. And that's comedy baby, when things are so bad all you can do is laugh.

[1tsstargaze59]

Aha! More College AU Anxifear~☆

Also artstyle drop- I rarely actually draw in my artstyle proper if you will, I usually interpret the canon artstyle to the best of my abilities hehe

I do wanna say @eechytooru's designs for them are my main inspo (for the whole au actually, seeing their art gave me the idea hehe), then my colleague who sits in front of me in class for the hair clip idea XD it makes more sense for your hair to go up like that if it's clipped instead of tied~!

Some au lore after the cut (and yapping lol)

This AU is still in development in my mind, but basically it's a romance between these two. To me, romances are written with specific "gimmicks" in mind, like a certain ship type or storyline to follow.

This one is about two middle aged adults falling in love again after a long time and feeling like they're rediscovering every first all over again. It's this sense of "Oh, I should know all this, I shouldn't feel this nervous, but I do!"

Especially for Anxiety, aka Anna-lee, who's also dealing with a panic disorder and has frequent panic attacks. Luckily for her, Fear is great support as he use to be a huge germaphobe and panicking is something he's learned to tame.

Also, I decided to change Fear's name to Frederico because @re-colligere has him as Latino in his au and I'm latina- I loved that idea SM TWT so I made him mixed XD And that way, he can keep his silly last name and nicknames,,, Fred hehehehehehe-

All previous info on this au I dropped in this post ^^

[pachimation]

redrawing my very first chiscara comic/art i ever did for chscr day!!

old comic under the cut!!

lol a bunch of sappy semi serious stuff below bc i cant help but be a bit genuine about this ship today :’3

i cant possibly put into words how important this silly little ship and its community mean to me haha,,,, this comic was made in 2021 but i didnt really get serious about chscr until late 2022 after a bunch of pretty bad interpersonal stuff happened and i needed an outlet,, COINCIDENTALLY a certain someone was announced to be playable around then and i was already thought chscr was Pretty Neat™️ so i ended up diving headfirst into the ship. it also gave me a good excuse to work on more comics too!! i’d done a pretty big zhongven comic earlier that year in the summer, but in terms of lore there was only so much i could have worked with at the moment.

childe and scaramouche have that perfect combination of silliness and angst and violence that could be explored or expanded in so many ways and i love love love seeing other people’s interpretations of their dynamic and relationship. they’re so complex,,,,they’re narrative foils,,,they’re narrative parallels,,,they’re trans allegories,,,they’re flies in the spiderweb of the games lore,,,they’re my stupid little meow meows,,, they’re just two losers i want to see make out,,,

in a nutshell, they’re everything to me. well, i hope i get that kind of sentiment across in my own comics,,,,

and i cant get started on all the people ive met through chiscara or the way that having something i can call “my thing”, as in, the thing that i like and that i will spend a lot of time and effort (and money, but lets not talk about that) to surround myself with because it makes me smile. its stupid to say, but being a nerd about these two stupid guys who have never had a single canon onscreen interaction in some random game has made me a much happier and confident person that i could have ever imagined back in my freshman year of college,,, when i say i dont know who i’d be if i hadnt gotten into chiscara, i really do mean it lol

i’m actually surprised i’m making it to over a full year of regular-ishly making art, especially for the same game and ship! thats never happened before and my art has improved so much over this past year!! more than anything else, i’m happy! i get to be excited talking about these characters with my friends and i love to see art of them pop up on the tl. i make stickers of them and decorate my phonecase with them and have little figures of them in my room that i look at when im up late at night working on schoolwork. sometimes just the thought of finishing a comic or daydreaming about a scenario or seeing what my mutuals are up to are some of the few things getting me through a tough day.

,,,,so believe me when i say, to both childe and scara and to everyone else as obsessed with these pathic losers as i am, thank you! i’m having a lot of fun!!!

(also i just found out tumblrs copy/paste doesnt work on my ipad??? idk if this ends up legible i may or may not have deleted smth by accident and im not in a mood to proofread haha)

[purpdrawsthings]

HIS REFERENCE SHEET IS REAL CHAT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥

Yippee less goooooo, you can now know how the hell this man's outfit finally works now.

You guys can actually make him, with ✨COLORS✨

Honestly, making colors that would match him was really hard. It took me about a week to actually figure it all out just because of how hard it is and how I wanted it to be close to a star aesthetic.

Buttttt I got it all sorted out and to be honest, the result isn't too bad if I do say so myself.

After finishing the colors, it went all easy thankfully, I didn't really have to think that much about his Mario recolor form.

FUN FACT : He came right after the Revelations arc ended =3333333

Relationship chart because yes

Some of the characters uhhh text things are kinda meh cuz my brain ain't braining rn.

Sadge =[

But heyyyyy, at least y'all can now know his relationships yippee =DDDDDDDD

ALSO DO NOT MISTAKE HIS PINK ARROWS AS AFFECTION HE JUST ADMIRES THEM

But I don't really mind if you actually-

Uhhhhhhh deez nutz he can be shipped with anyone, as long as it's not someone he hates, like a certain tv someone =3

So now that that's done.... LET'S HAVE AT IT SOME FUN FACTS!!!!!

He was actually meant to be a silly villain, something like Storms oc, SMG8 =3 buttttt I saved that for later and changed him into a different character.

That human form you're looking at right now ain't even his true form, his true form is that weird star thing!!! Crazyyyy

Speaking about his star form, while in that form, he only speaks in speech bubbles, and is inaudible.

He was meant to be a ✨blondie✨ but after a test I found out it wasn't really the best color so why not use that uh.... Random ass hair color =D

He's got powers to fend off viruses ofc, but I'll do that for a later post, maybe I'll link it from here if I post it =]

Anddddd that's about all =DDDD

I'll probably think of more and probably update this post behind yalls backs lmao

But it'll probably not happen soon.

Anyways, you can now draw him, AND ask question for this man through my ask box, yippeeeeeee =DDDDDDDD

And uhh.... Yeah. Yeetus!!! =3

HAH! YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END?

Naive people /silly

I actually just wanted to add some special thanks for some people that deserve to be here for a sec =3

@strange0-0storm

The first insp for this man!!! He helped me form GSP the most. I remember that one post he made and I think it was a question thing. I think the question was how did he make 8 or something. Idk I don't remember it much.

But in that post, he stated that he made 8 by making an opposite or something, and that sparked an idea for some reason lmao.

You can see some opposite accessories from him that are opposites of both 4 n' 3. Like the weird ahhhh shaped hat, him having glasses, him actually wearing a suit or something, and him having long, beautiful hair ✨

I uh.... Explained that terribly did I? AHSOSHSOSHISHEISHS THIS IS WHY I DON'T EXPLAIN STUFF RAHHHHHHH

Oopsies I'll get back to the thing =3

Anyways, yeah, as you can see, 8 was a big inspiration for this man, even sparking the idea of making him the same silly lil villain like 8 =3

I thank Storm so much for the huge insp, really helped make him!!!!!

@tiredsmashbros

This man was literally inspired by TSB... GUHH... This man is everywhere I swear....

BUT SERIOUSLY THO TSB WAS ANOTHER HUGE INSPIRATION BESIDES 8!!!!

TSB helped me arrange some of the colors, especially taking some inspiration from the orange and yellow =3

Funny thing but I sometimes accidentally draw GSP with a propeller like TSB on his head because I sometimes mistake him with TSB kshsisuwosossh

The name 'GSP' was also inspired by TSB! Seeing as the name meant TiredSmashBros, I thought if using PurpDrawsThings but when I realized that didn't fit, I just made up random shit lmaooooo

Sooooo yeah! Thank you Tomm for TSB helping me on how to arrange colors and also making his name =3

@its-a-me-mango

Not really seen here but when I said he was supposed to be a blondie and it didn't fit, I suddenly thought of Mango's hair 😭

I was like "Am I really sure I wanna use that"

Then I tested out different hues... Saturations... Andddddd nothing worked 💀 so I was like- "y'know what? Fuck it. I'mma just do it."

Sooooo uh... Yeah! Thank you Mango for helping me make his hair and relationship chart idea lmao 😭😭

Anddddd that's how his hair was born ❤

Also another huge thanks for Mango is insp for the relationship chart! I remember Mango's relationship chart having some text so I decided to do that =]

And that's about all!!!

Like actually fr this time.

These three were just huge inspirations on making him, and I can't thank them enough 😭

THANK YOU 3!!!! LOVE Y'ALL!!!!!

anyways, I'mma go and rest my fingers because I feel like they're actually breaking /silly

YEETUS MY BEANS!!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling a school counselor about what my friend does online?

I (F minor) am in middle school. I have a group of friends, about 8 people, but this is about one girl in specific we can call Annie. All of us are mutuals on tumblr, twitter, etc. and we have a discord server too.

All of us are into a lot of the same things, like art, anime, video games, and have a lot of the same hobbies. Most of us also struggle with mental health stuff like anxiety and/or depression so we regularly talk to our school counselor (F, Idk how old she is).

Anyways, we're all really close and we get along really well for the most part, but lately Annie has been doing stuff that really bothers and worries us.

She's VERY into internet discourse. Has 10 paragraph long DNI page, is constantly starting fights with other people, etc. She usually argues about stuff like LGBT+ rights, womens rights, etc. but also a LOT of fandom discourse which is my biggest concern.

A lot of my other friends reblog/retweet stuff like anime gifs, fanart, memes, etc. but pretty much every post I see from Annie is her fighting with someone over shipping or something like that.

A lot of the posts are basically:

Her talking about how disgusting a certain ship or character is

How everyone who likes that specific thing is a degenerate, or freak, or pedo or groomer.

How if you like problematic ships you need to get a therapist, or you deserve to be hurt. Once I saw her arguing with someone who said they write certain stuff due to trauma and she said "You don't have trauma, you're either lying or you actually liked it and that's why you write such disgusting nasty shit"

Fighting with random people and accusing them of being a predator or a pedo

Breaking her own DNI (which says adults, proshitters, etc. DNI) and then getting mad at the other person for responding

It's really upsetting to see because she does this CONSTANTLY. She never seems to use tumblr/twitter to do things she actually likes. I never see her reblog gifs or memes or just silly lighthearted posts about stuff she enjoys.

It's especially upsetting because we're minors and she TELLS PEOPLE THAT. Like she's arguging with people that she thinks are pedos or child predators, while openly telling people her actual age. To me that's like covering yourself in bloody steaks and then jumping into water full of sharks.

I was really starting to get concerned because even in our private discord server she's always talking about how much she hates these people or whatever and how they should die, a lot of the time she says things like "they should get the wall" or "I hope their nasty fanfics happen to them irl that would teach them lol" and it really freaks me out.

She also talks about seeing the "child porn" that these people make which as far as I'm aware is drawings of characters but it still freaks me out how open and calm she is about looking at what she THINKS is child porn. I asked her if it's child porn why is it being linked in callout posts for other people (including minors!) to see and not being reported to the FBI but she just gets mad and changes the subject.

Me and our other friends have mentioned before that we don't like hearing about this kind of stuff but then she just gets mad and goes offline or gives us the silent treatment at school.

A month or so ago I got so fed up and upset, that I took a bunch of screenshots of her tumblr account and discord messages. One thing to note is that her username is VERY specific.

It's a combination of her first and last name and her birth year. Most people will not know that, but if you know her name and birthday, it's easy to tell it's her. She also goes by her real name online which I also screenshotted as proof it's her.

I brought all this to the school counselor, and I told her how worried I was about Annie, and how I think she's doing something really unsafe. Not only is she confronting people she thinks are child predators/groomers, she's telling people they deserve to get hurt in really awful ways, and looking at porn and I don't think this is good for her mental health.

The counselor at first was like "Idk are you SURE it's her? It could be anyone online!" But I insisted that it was and explained the username thing and that this was our private discord server so obviously I know it's her.

She thanked me for letting her know and told me I was being a good friend and then we talked about how I was doing, and then I left. I kind of forgot about it until a week later.

Annie wasn't online at all and I was kind of worried, but then I saw her on Monday at school. I was with our other friends and we called out her name so she would see us and come over and she LOST IT. She started screaming at us and telling us how awful we were, and how we ruined her life.

Idk what exactly happened, but apparently the counselor talked to her and her parents got involved? Her parents now monitor her internet usage, they have child safety stuff on the browsers, and she's only allowed on certain websites for doing research for school, or watching videos on youtube on their account so they can see what videos she's watching, or playing games on steam.

She said that her parents are also putting her in therapy once a week now (with an actual therapist, not the counselor) and she's only allowed to go out with an adult chaperone (either her older sister or one of her parents).

But... None of our friends know it was me who told the counselor. Annie has other friends besides us, so they're also "suspects" for being the snitch. It seems like half of our friends are relieved that Annie is kept away from that kind of stuff and the other half are mad at whoever the snitch is for ratting Annie out and resulting in her having less privacy/freedom.

At first I was happy that Annie was getting help and being kept away from this but now I feel really conflicted. I feel so disgusting talking to her and our other friends and pretending nothing happened, knowing that I was the one who told the counselor.

Annie still talks to us but she's a lot less open. We still have our discord server but apparently her parents will read through the messages to make sure she's not talking about anything bad and that she's only talking to us and not strangers.

What are these acronyms?

[olderthannetfic]

People need to stop being weird about enemies- to-lovers ships. Especially enemies-to-lovers F/M ships.

I'm so sick and tired of seeing those ships automatically labeled "problematic" or "abusive" when there are similar M/M ships that are held as the literal pinnacle and backbone of fandom.

Why is it that M/M enemies to lovers its uwu and homoerotic, and F/M enemies to lovers is "ew he's abusing her"

People who are out there calling F/M shippers "nasty", "stupid" or "brainwashed by gender norms" are y'all okay?

Oh, no here's a straight couple straight women are horny for.

That can't be right.

And "Oh this is that classic bad boy/good girl" trope, as though it's not literally the most popular dynamics ever? Not just in straight media but in media in general?

Some of y'all just don't like that that certain ships are popping off and are finding audiences and are growing and attracting more people in fandom. And yeah, let's have a conversation about how fandom is changing. But also we can do it without being misogynistic toward new shippers (hopefully).

I'm tired of doing extensive blog search before reblogging something from a fellow fan. Someone might have a reasonable take on something and then I'll search their profile and see how they went on a literal rant calling an enemies to lovers ship an abusive power fantasy that only stupid or media illiterate women are getting off on.

Get a grip!

--

It's all very silly, isn't it? (It's not restricted to het though. Lots of idiots also think m/m enemies-to-lovers is bad.)

Fandom isn't changing. Draco/Ginny and Draco/Hermione were huge and much like Reylo.

The only difference is that slashers built the currently popular big hub, so the het shippers are flocking there and having to deal. 20 years ago, they'd have been homophobically whining about "OOC" for all m/m ships and chasing m/m off of the bigger platforms. Now, people in general are less likely to be openly homophobic.

The hand-wringing goes back to the birth of the novel, but "Twilight will make women into doormats, ohnoes!" was definitely very similar to the current enemies-to-lovers = Satan stuff.

[writeforfandoms]

Love Letters

Find my Halo masterlist

This is just a fun little gift for/brainrot with my lovely @chaoticgeminate​ who helped me plan out the idea and cheered me on. Love you darling! 💖

You never intended to actually admit your feelings to Master Chief. But your supervisor meddled, he knows, and you might be having anxiety. A silly cute one shot about developing feelings.

John-117/Master Chief x f!reader

Warnings: swearing, mild implied violence, tooth rotting fluff, Blue Team Supremacy

Word count: 5.7k

“You did what?!” You stared at your supervisor with horrified eyes, hands gripping the edge of your console too tight.

“I delivered that letter.” Your supervisor, Melinda, was a good supervisor. She ran a tight group. She was also a troublemaker who meddled and had a secret romantic side. 

Which she had apparently used to send a letter that was never actually meant to be sent!

“Why?” You couldn’t keep the weight of despair out of your voice, half-pleading for her to be pranking you.

Melinda shrugged. “It was a nice letter. Very sweet. If nothing else, he deserves to know.”

“No! He was never meant to know!” You pried your hands off the metal and debated the merits of strangling Melinda. Pro: they’d court martial you so you would never have to face Master Chief. Con: you’d end up on a work colony planet and probably get shivved within days. 

Fine, no strangling Melinda. Yet. 

“Why not? I think your crush is adorable.” Melinda smirked in that particularly infuriating way she had. 

You made a wordless noise of protest and despair, letting your head fall to your station with a little thunk.

“Go walk it off,” Melinda told you, slapping your back. (Ow.) “Take a break. That’s not a suggestion.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You sighed and stood as she walked away, trudging away from your station. Not that you had anywhere in particular in mind to go. The ship was not small, after all. But you had been told to walk it off, so… Walking it was. 

At least until you rounded a corner and damn near ran into a very familiar armored individual. All you had to do was spot that particular shade of green and you damn near jumped out of the way.

“Sorry, sir!” Okay, so maybe you squeaked a bit, but. Really. You could not be blamed. Your heart couldn’t take this kind of stress, especially not with the stunt Melinda pulled earlier.

But Master Chief just nodded to you and continued on his way. Only once he was out of sight did you deflate with a whoosh, leaning back against the wall. 

Okay. Either he hadn’t read the letter, or he hadn’t gotten it yet, or he had read it but was just ignoring you. What if you’d made him uncomfortable? What if he didn’t even know how to respond and you just fucked things up?

You groaned and covered your face with your hands. You were never going to recover from this disaster. 

–

There was a letter on his floor. An actual, physical letter. Hardly anyone used those anymore - he’d used a notepad maybe a handful of times to take notes. (And once as a distraction. It made a lot of noise and left some very confused Unggoy.) 

Point being, John was fairly certain he’d never received a physical letter in his life. But the envelope said “Master Chief” on the outside. And it had been left in his room.

He sat at the desk and opened it, fingers working carefully at the envelope to get the paper out. 

The first thing he noticed was the handwriting. A little curly, a little scratched, it was almost… endearing. 

And then he actually read the letter. 

And stopped.

John was aware that some people found him attractive. While it wasn’t something he had ever encouraged or discouraged, not really, it wasn’t something he entirely understood, either. It was very rare that he thought of people in terms of attraction. 

But this… This was not that. Not quite. This was far more emotional. In fact, the writer admitted to having not seen him without the helmet. 

This was not physical attraction. This was something different. 

He had no idea what to do with it.

For now, he folded it up and carefully tucked it away in his desk. Using every privacy protocol he knew of, he went into the database to search for reference material. 

Half of which were old movies and shows revolving around the sending and receiving of these letters, usually with comedic or dramatic aspects.

John would never, ever admit to having watched one of them. It’s not like he needed a lot of sleep anyway. 

But he was still at a loss as to what to do. Did he write back? Did he find this person and talk to them face to face? The sources available to him were… unclear on proper protocol. 

His Spartans, he knew, would be no help with this. For various reasons. Not least of which being that they’d tease the hell out of him. So, alternate sources needed.

(And he couldn’t help the flash of pain at the thought that Cortana would have an answer, she’d find an answer for him, she always had answers–)

Captain Lasky had proven himself trustworthy and discreet. While not John’s first choice, he would do if further research yielded no results. 

With a sigh, John closed everything down for the night. He needed sleep. At least a little sleep. Not sleeping led to being forced to take downtime, which was… a bad thing. A very bad thing. 

He laid down and stared up at the ceiling, systematically going through his body and making sure there were no noteworthy aches. Then he closed his eyes.

The last conscious thought he had was that he liked your handwriting. 

–

John purposely waited until after his next mission to bring up the letter. He had already decided this was a conversation he needed to have with the helmet on. 

So, after debrief, instead of taking Lasky’s usual dismissal, John shifted his weight. “There is one more thing.”

Lasky looked up at him with a faint, concerned frown. “Speak freely, Chief.” 

“A Spartan received a letter.” John spoke slowly, weighing each word. He didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to reveal the whole situation just yet. “Of a… personal nature.”

Lasky grimaced. “If someone needs to be spoken to–”

“No.” John tipped his head to the side. “It wasn’t a bad letter.” 

Lasky blinked, caught off guard, and nodded slowly. “Then what is the concern of this Spartan?” 

This would be the hard part. John stuck to the same tactic, in hopes it worked. “None of us are aware of proper protocols for responding to such letters, Captain.” 

Lasky was completely silent for a long moment. And then he lifted one hand to rub his forehead, muttering to himself. (John knew he wouldn’t have been able to hear without his enhanced hearing.) “I am not equipped to handle this talk…” Lasky drew in a deep breath and looked back up at John. “Let me see if I have this right. A Spartan received a personal letter, but not an inappropriate one. I’m guessing a love letter or a confession letter of some kind. And… you want to know how to respond.”

“Correct, sir.” John didn’t move.

Lasky sighed. “Well. There are a couple ways to respond, I suppose, depending on how the Spartan in question feels. If they’re uncomfortable, they can ignore the letter or turn the person down. Or if the… feelings are accepted, they can write a return letter or tell this person face to face.” 

“What would the contents of a return letter be?” John frowned, yet again glad the helmet was concealing his expression.

Lasky looked like he would rather be doing anything else. “That’s up to the person writing. Granted, letters haven’t been common for centuries, but… Stating your own feelings is pretty typical, or inviting the person to continue writing. Some people find it easier to write their feelings than say them out loud.” 

John turned this new information over in his mind before he nodded once. “Understood. Thank you, sir.”

“Chief?”

John paused, half-turned away from the captain, and tipped his head back that direction.

“Let me know if this becomes a problem. Otherwise, I’ll assume all is well and I will not go looking for more paperwork.”

John nodded his understanding of that and left. He was scheduled to get out of the armor now and have some time to fuel and sleep. 

But maybe… 

Stepping into the Brokkr to get the armor removed was second nature by now, and John barely paid attention to the machinery whirring around him. He was instead still puzzling over the letter in his mind. 

Lasky’s explanation had been sufficient for him to move forward. 

Walking around the ship without armor always left John feeling exposed. He was so used to being in the armor, being a soldier, that being without was… odd. Fortunately, it happened infrequently enough that he still had some anonymity - although it was clear he was a Spartan, most of the crew didn’t equate him to the Master Chief outside of his armor. And that was just fine with him. 

The mess was busy when he entered, but nobody bothered him as he took a tray, gathered food, and sat at an empty table well off to the side. Just as he preferred.

He spotted you sitting at a table not too far away, datapad in front of you, tray forgotten to one side. He watched as your brow furrowed, as you hunched closer to the screen as if that would help you, as you scrolled through whatever you were reading with just the very tip of your tongue poking between your lips. 

He’d never spoken to you, but he had looked you up after reading the letter. Clean service record, glowing compliments from multiple supervisors. You’d been in communications your entire career, and you were, by all accounts, good at it. 

Despite the clear fluster you’d shown that day you’d run into him. 

He tipped his head to the side a little, watching you mutter under your breath as you did… something on the datapad. You were… different. Cute, maybe. He didn’t have much of a frame of reference for cute. Or attractive. 

When you finally looked up from your datapad, John was carefully not watching you. You seemed totally oblivious to having been observed for the better part of five minutes, and started eating with half your attention. 

Depositing his tray after he was done, John made his way back to his room. He knew how he needed to proceed.

–

You weren’t paying attention as you walked back to your bunk, which was… not unusual. You shared with three others, and you all had rotating schedules, so you could usually get at least a little time to yourself. 

But the crinkle of something underfoot when you stepped into your bunk was new. Frowning, you looked down.

There was a letter. On the floor. Partially under your foot.

Heart suddenly racing into overtime, you bent to pick it up. It was addressed to you in unfamiliar, blocky handwriting. This did not help your pulse at all, which was still thrumming hard and fast. 

Double checking that you were alone, you dropped down to sit on your bed and opened the envelope with shaking fingers. 

The letter was short, and for a moment your gaze caught on the name at the end. 

John. John. 

…Wait. John-117. Master Chief. 

You were definitely going to murder Melinda. 

Your letter was very kind, if unexpected. I've never received a letter like this before, and was uncertain how to respond. 

I don't know you, but I would like to, time permitting. If you would like to remain discreet, further letters would be welcome. I am also open to suggestions. 

Regards,

You stared at the letter unblinkingly for several moments. He… hadn't turned you down. He hadn't said no. 

He'd… said yes? 

You carefully put the letter back away. Put your face in your hands. And squealed. 

Okay. Maybe you wouldn't kill Melinda, after all. 

But wait. Now you had to decide what to do! Tipping over sideways, you hid your face in your pillow and shrieked. Just a little bit. (The walls weren't that thick, after all.) 

…Wait. Now you had to figure out how to reply. 

You were so fucked. 

–

It took you three days to write a return letter to him. Partially because you had to figure out how to say what you wanted to say (and you definitely ended up scrapping two pieces of paper). Partially because work required actual focus, and you couldn’t always goof off. And partially just because it took you a bit to gather your nerves. 

You’d never really intended to confess your feelings to Chief. To John. You were still figuring out how you felt about having been outed, more or less. 

Finally, though, you gave up and just wrote the damn thing. It was late, you were mildly sleep deprived and running on a bit of liquid courage. 

John,

I hope you don’t mind if I call you John now. I have one more confession to make. 

I wrote the letter, yes, but I never actually sent it. I’m… a little intimidated now that you know. I really hope I haven’t overstepped. 

But I would really like to get to know you. Whatever way you’re comfortable with, really. Letters are good with me. Honestly, they’re probably more coherent. I can ramble on for a long time if nobody stops me in person, my supervisor teases me about it sometimes. 

I work in Communications, so my shifts tend to be pretty predictable. I’ve got the early shift at the moment - 0600 to 1500. It’s not bad, really, but it does mean I tend to go to bed early. I rarely have plans after my shifts. Although I do like to wander the ship. I have definitely gone into areas I was not supposed to. It’s kinda fun. 

Alright, maybe I can ramble on paper just as well as I can in person. 

I know your schedule tends to be a little unpredictable, so I guess just let me know if you want to do anything? Or we can stick to letters. Whatever you’re comfortable with. 

Sincerely,

You didn’t let you second guess yourself, folding the letter and sealing the envelope. You stood, ready to go deliver it right then.

And realized you actually had no idea where his quarters were.

You stood there, stumped, momentary panic flashing through you. This was a terrible idea. 

Your datapad chimed, and you set the letter down to check your datapad instead. 

You haven’t given me an update on your letter to Chief! Did he ever respond? If you need to go bug him, all the Spartans are on S-deck. He’s in 117, of course. Just walk like you belong and nobody will bother you. Have fun! :D 

Sometimes you were really tempted to kill Melinda… but she had her uses. 

One more deep breath to settle your nerves and you started for the nearest elevator, letter shoved into your pocket so you wouldn’t fiddle with it. Fortunately, there were plenty of directional signs on the ship. Which made sense, considering the size of the bloody thing. 

It also suited you well in finding S-deck. 

The elevator opened onto S-deck, and you stepped out cautiously. But nobody was around, not right then. Swallowing, you took a quick look around before you started walking. The first fork you came to was fortunately labeled: quarters to the left, rec room and gym to the right. You could hear activity from the right, but fortunately you needed to go left anyway. 

The doors were all clearly labeled. Some few had actual personality on the outside - one person had attached some stickers to the outside of the door, while another had painted the numbers green. 

Room 117 was in a little ways, but you found it. The door was plain, unadorned. You had no idea if he was in there or not. 

But this was enough bravery for one day. You crouched and pushed the letter under his doorway, making sure it was all the way through and couldn’t be seen from outside the door. 

Then you turned and very calmly fled. 

(You didn’t even notice a Spartan further down the hall, eyes narrowed and focused on you. You turned a corner and vanished from sight, and the speculative gaze turned to Chief’s door instead. Hmm.) 

–

John didn’t outwardly react as Linda fell into step next to him. She’d speak her piece in her own time, there was no point in rushing her. 

“Did you know you got a letter, Chief?” 

John didn’t break stride. But only through sheer force of habit. “I was unaware.” Which was true - he hadn’t been back to his quarters yet. But he had kind of hoped that he would find a letter. 

“But you’re not surprised.”

Damn. He had hoped she wouldn’t pick up on that. The alternative was worse, so John just didn’t answer. 

“John.”

“Linda.” 

She didn’t huff, didn’t demand. Just kept steady pace with him. Metaphorically wearing him down. 

Although, if he really wanted to be stubborn, that could take a long time. 

John made the turn down to his quarters, weighing pros and cons. Then he nodded once and hit the button to unlock his door.

Sure enough, there was a letter just inside the door. He picked it up and then stepped out of the way, inviting Linda in with nothing more than a tilt of his head. She stepped through after him. 

“This is the second letter I’ve received.” John tucked the letter, unread, into his desk. He would not be reading it with company present.

“Who from?”

“Does it matter?” 

“Nobody uses letters anymore.” Her head tilt was all curiosity. And when Linda was actually curious about something, she dug until she got what she wanted. 

There were a few different ways he could handle this. He could pull rank and tell her to back off. And she would. But it would not be graceful. That was his least favorite option, honestly. Any of his Spartans deserved better from him. 

So he chose a variation of the truth. 

“It’s personal.”

“Someone wrote you a personal letter.” The surprise coloring her tone was very faint, but there. 

“Yes.”

“And you’re aware who it is.”

“Yes.” John didn’t move, watching her closely. 

The two remained locked in a stalemate for a full minute, completely silent. Linda wasn’t willing to back down entirely. John wasn’t willing to give her more information just to assuage her curiosity. 

Then Linda smirked, a faint tick of her lips, an expression that had John instantly on guard. “I’m sure it will be easy to find her name,” she murmured. “I’ll recognize her when I see her again.”

Shit. If Linda had seen you leaving the letter, then she would find you again. It would just be a matter of time. 

And, intended or not, Linda could be… intense. They all could. John knew that, he’d seen the way the crew sometimes eyed them, unsure how to interact. 

But he didn’t want Linda scaring you, even inadvertently. So he made a concession. 

“You do not approach her about this. You do not investigate her.” He stared her down, waiting until she nodded her agreement to continue. Then he gave her your name. 

Linda nodded once. “What is your end goal here?” 

John shrugged, a tiny movement that nonetheless conveyed everything it needed to. Linda frowned a tiny bit, almost disapproving, before she released her breath in her version of a laugh. 

“Don’t do anything foolish, John.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he drawled, completely dry. 

Linda shook her head, just a little, and bumped her shoulder into his as she walked back out of his room. 

John finally sat at his desk, pulling the letter out. Your handwriting was still a little chaotic, moreso than last time. As if you’d been writing in a hurry. He read the letter quickly the first time and then slowed, reading it again. Unbidden, his lips quirked. 

Well. Your rambling, as you called it, was not anything that bothered John. If anything, he found it endearing. 

Maybe he should mention that? Would it help to put you at ease? 

Shaking his head a little at himself, John debated how to answer. 

–

“Is that her?” 

A tiny nod. 

A single grunt. Keen eyes observed every movement, every flicker of emotion. 

“She’s soft.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

Another grunt, quiet, contemplative. 

It wasn’t until their quarry moved that they did. 

“Think this will work?”

A soft sound, almost a laugh. “Chief is stubborn.”

A huff of acknowledgement. Really, that was all that needed to be said. 

–

You groaned softly as you walked down a hallway, rolling your shoulders. It had been a long shift fighting with some misaligned repeaters. Coordinating with Engineering was always a pain, and today had been somehow even more aggravating than normal. Your shoulders ached with lingering tension, and you didn’t want to deal with people yet.

So, wandering the ship it was. You may have sneaked through a Jeffries tube to get two decks down without having to take the elevator. Look, nobody caught you at it, it was fine. 

You weren’t even sure where you were going, but it felt good to just… go. Especially when you stuck to quieter corridors and less populated areas. 

You’d find your way back. You always did. Not like you could get that far, after all. 

Coming to a crossroads (and signposts), you blinked when you realized you were almost to the aft observatory. Well. That was… something. Huffing a little at yourself, you continued down that hallway, stepping quietly into the observatory. 

It was empty, and you breathed out a little sigh of relief, sinking down to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of one of the floor-to-ceiling viewports. The quiet and the calm helped, your shoulders easing down into a more relaxed position. 

The door opened behind you and your heart plummeted. Maybe they’d leave. Or at least leave you alone. The floor shook a little under heavy, even footsteps, stopping next to you. You looked up… and up… and up, finally into a golden visor. You blinked, caught completely off guard.

“May I?” His voice was low and deep and calm, soothing to your nerves. Somehow.

“Oh! Sure! There are benches if you prefer.” You shrugged, a little bashful, still staring up at him. 

He merely lowered himself to the floor next to you, surprisingly dexterous for a man wearing nearly half a ton of armor. (Not that you’d gone and looked up all the information you could get your grubby little mitts on about the Mjolnir armor.) 

“Did you know I was here?” You tipped your head to look up at him, curious more than anything. 

His head dipped in a nod, a little hesitant. 

“Huh.” You blinked and then ducked your head. “You didn’t have to come all the way down here for me,” you murmured, warm, heart fluttering in your chest.

“I wanted to.” Still that even tone, matter of fact. But still soothing. 

You nodded, peeking up at him again. He had shifted the tiniest bit, arms braced on his thighs, helmet forward again. Giving you space, you realized with a warm swell of startled affection. 

“I think this is only the third time I’ve been here,” you started slowly, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. His head tipped, indicating he was listening. “The first time was an accident. I couldn’t sleep, just got switched from the overnight shift to first shift.” You paused to chuckle. “Had a few very blurry days before I adjusted, that was awful. But I was wandering around, must’ve been after midnight, and kind of blindly stumbled in here. It was so quiet - just the air filtration system, really. I sat down, figuring I’d do a bit of reading, and woke up with an awful crick in my neck and my alarm going off. Had to book it back up to communications.”

His shoulders bounced once in what might have been a laugh. 

“Can I…?” You looked more fully at him, a little shy, a little hesitant. “Do you want me to tell you more?”

He nodded. “Whatever you can share.” 

“You’re going to regret that one day,” you warned him with a little laugh. “I told you I can ramble.”

“I don’t mind.” He didn’t move, still relaxed, still waiting on you.

So you started telling him about another one of your rambles. 

“...and I really wasn’t planning on going all the way to the hangers,” you told him, trying (and failing) to hide your mirth. “Especially not from the ceiling.” 

“The Jeffries actually opened into the hanger?” He sounded… something. Dismayed? Disgusted? Something. 

“Apparently, they weren’t supposed to.” You paused. “But that one definitely did. Spent a few minutes clinging to the ladder inside the tube. There was a lot of panicked shouting. They eventually got out a ladder that reached and got me down. The whole tube had to be closed for maintenance for four days before they found the malfunction. After Captain Lasky gave me the dressing down of my life, he grudgingly admitted it was a good thing I found that malfunction before it became a problem.” 

John’s chest practically vibrated, his chuckle so quiet you could barely hear it. “That was you?”

“Oh god, you’ve heard of that?” You dropped your head, hiding behind your hands, though you were laughing. “How’d you know?”

“Roland almost asked me to go, decided on a Spartan-IV instead.”

You giggle-snorted, covering your eyes. “They were debating the merits of sending someone up with a jetpack to grab me until one of the Pelican mechanics found the ladder.” You paused purely for effect, peeking up at him between your fingers. “I never managed to tell them I’m afraid of heights.” 

That time you heard the chuckle, low and rumbling and wonderful. You hid your face again until you could contain your own laughter. 

Finally, though, you checked the time, dismayed to see how late it had gotten. (Well. Late for you, because you were the most boring person on this entire ship.) 

“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?” You twisted your fingers together, peering up at him, caught between worry and hope. 

“No.” He shifted, facing you a little more directly. But still giving you space. Still giving you time. 

“Okay.” You paused, chewing on your lower lip. “Have you eaten?” 

He shook his head, silent, watchful. 

“Do you want to?” You were quick to continue as the implications of what you’d just asked caught up with you. “We don’t have to, of course, or another time, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

He paused and then his head jerked around to the doorway. “Later,” he said, getting to his feet with a fluid grace you frankly envied. But his hand reached back down to you, helping you to your feet like you weighed nothing. (To a Spartan, you didn’t.) 

“Okay.” You weren’t going to push. Not about anything, really, but definitely not about this.

“Lasky’s calling Blue Team.” He offered the explanation without prompting.

Something in your chest relaxed, some anxiety you hadn’t even named. “I hope you won’t be late.”

“I won’t.” He sounded so easily confident, like he could bend the universe around him to his will. You half-believed he could. “Here.” He held out a letter to you. Where it had come from, you had no idea, but you took it with barely trembling fingers. 

“I’ll see you soon?” You tried to keep the hope out of your voice. You failed. 

He nodded once to you before he turned and strode out of the room, quick and purposeful. You stood frozen until the door closed behind him. 

(Outside the door, the rest of Blue Team fearlessly faced down John, having kept everyone else away from the room so he could have his time. His head dipped, the barest amount, in recognition and thanks. They fell in behind him to make their way to Lasky. No words were needed.) 

–

That meeting seemed to have signaled some kind of break in the ice between you and John. He found you more often than not after your shifts. Sometimes you two walked and talked. Sometimes you found a place to sit - the aft observatory became a favorite with you two. Sometimes you even had a meal together, although those times were more rare. John was still shy about being with you without the armor.

That was okay. He could take as much time as he wanted. You weren’t actually trying to jump him. You genuinely liked his company, no matter what he was wearing. 

(When you told him so, quietly, one night while the two of you had a late snack in the observatory, his cheeks went pink and he ducked his head. But he also bundled you up into a hug before he left, which was warm and firm and the absolute best thing ever.) 

And you may not have been the smartest person on board, or the most observant, but even you couldn’t miss the way the rest of Blue Team hung around. You made sure to wave at them any time you saw them. Not that you got a response out of them, most of the time, but still. You liked them. 

Especially after Kelly grabbed a letter from you as you were taking it to John’s room and bolted away. You found out later that John had been sent on an unexpected mission, and Kelly had just gotten the letter to him before he’d gotten in the Pelican. 

You kind of assumed that meant they liked you, too. 

But it wasn’t all good all the time. 

While John was gone on this super secret mission, comms went down to most of the rest of the universe. Meaning a pileup of crew who had messages they wanted to send home who couldn’t. 

And it was nobody’s fault. But somehow you were blamed (and the rest of the communications staff). The whole department was working around the clock to get it fixed, but it looked like the problem wasn’t even with the Infinity, but with a relay elsewhere in space. 

Meaning there was quite literally nothing you could do. 

But a handful of ODSTs didn’t like that answer. 

“I got people to talk to back home,” one of them, the ringleader of their little group, grumbled at you. He was taller than you, using his height to try to tower over you. (That might have worked a few months ago, but now? Not a chance. John had inadvertently seen to that.) 

“I told you, there’s nothing I can do,” you insisted. But you took a step back, hoping you could escape to the mess or somewhere else populated. “The problem isn’t on the ship, and we’re not headed towards the relay to fix it.”

“Yeah? Why not? You think it’s okay to just make us wait?” The ringleader took a step closer to you. 

“That’s not–of course not!” You puffed up as much as you could. Which was… not a lot. “You think we don’t have family, too?” 

“I don’t think you do,” one of the others jeered, just to be cruel. 

But the remark still landed, and you still flinched. The other two drew in closer, like wolves scenting blood. 

“Seriously,” you tried again, pushing your shoulders down and back, “if you have a problem with the outage, talk to my CO. She’ll tell you the same thing I did. There’s nothing we can do until another ship gets to the relay.” You did your very best to glare them down. 

Either your glaring skills had improved or they got tired of taunting you, because one of them nudged the ringleader, and they all backed off in a hurry. Actually, it looked like they scrambled away from you. Which was… confusing. But. Hey! It worked! 

Turning, you hummed as you continued on to the mess. You really needed food now. 

(Behind you, Fred let out a slow breath from where he’d stepped behind some machinery to get out of your line of sight, after scaring off the ODSTs. That had been close. Too close. He made a mental note to talk to Linda and Kelly about assigning you a permanent shadow until this communications issue was cleared up, or Chief got back. You had the self-preservation instincts of a lemming.) 

–

The first thing John wanted to do after debrief was find you. But he took the time to get de-armored first, carefully not fidgeting through the process. He got dressed and was out in record time, completely ignoring the armor techs. 

He had missed you during this last mission. And that was… new. And odd. Not unacceptable, because he had felt this ache before. But it still scared him, a little, this need to see you. To be near you.

But for once, he went with it, rather than fighting it. Even though it had been a long time by now, Cortana’s words about one of them being more human than machine still rang in his mind. 

He was finally making the decision to be more human. 

He found you in the aft observatory, Kelly standing guard by the door. He nodded to her, and her return nod was easy. Good. No issues worth mentioning, then. 

The door opened and he stepped inside, finding you immediately. You were sitting with your knees up near your chest, arms loose around your legs. You looked… sad. Lonely. 

He could fix that. 

John didn’t say a word as he strode over to you, not even returning your sputtered greeting as he sat behind you. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your back flush to his chest so he could curl himself around you as much as physically possible. He could feel your heart beating hard, could hear your stuttered breath. But you relaxed into his hold almost immediately, curling one hand around his. John breathed out slowly, steadily. 

For now, this was enough. He would need to explain more to you later. Maybe in a letter if he couldn’t get himself to speak the words. 

But for now? This was all he wanted. You, safe and warm and protected in his arms, the tension leaving the both of you. He tucked his head down into the crook of your neck, listening to your heart steady out. 

Yes. This was enough. 

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Mousey, I'm sure you've done the reaction of the vanilla and expanded spouses to the farmer's curse from Mr. Qi, but how about the rsv spouses? I'd be curious to see what they'd do about it ~~especially you know who *wink wink nudge nudge*~~ Also ngl I've been trying to come up with more silly ships with the vanilla and mod characters and having a blast in my mind. I've been throwing in Isaac, Jadu, Camilla, and Alesia there too for good measure because I think Isaac especially would suffer with certain characters 😂 istg it's like I'm a dog and he's my chewing toy

Hehee, I wouldn't mind hearing what other funny ships you have in mind 👀👀👀

Sorry for a long reply, it turned out WAY more than I had planned. Anyway, enjoy some headcanon, Lotus! And have a great day! 💕

RSV spouses react to the Qi fruit:

_________________________________________

Ian had been standing still for about two minutes now, keeping his eyes on the strange blue fruit that was ripening in the Farmer's seedbed. Because he could have sworn that the fruit winked at him.... with 'glasses'! And the handyman thought he'd seen it again. But at the third minute, Ian gave up and reckoned he was just wasting time. "I really don't understand anything about farming," Ian told Farmer, kissed them, and went to work.

Daia isn't the type to be surprised by strange magical fruits, flowers and berries. The Ridge Forest alone is filled with interesting plants with unusual properties. But this 'Qi' fruit... Hmph, even she hadn't seen anything like it. Being around this smirking blue fruit makes the ninja feel a tingling sensation on her skin - a sure sign that magic is involved. Oh, she can't wait to ask her dear Farmer to give her the fruit to examine, because she's so curious about it! She wondered if it would interest her Lady too...

"Wow... I knew you are a true professional at farming, hon, but to do something like this..." Honestly, Jeric was delighted at what his partner had grown and horrified at what his partner had grown. Because on the one hand - fruit with a face and sunglasses, that's awesome! And on the other hand.... why? He certainly wouldn't have imagined something like this on his own little farm in Ridgeside Village. And it's unlikely he had the knowledge to grow something like this. "....So, what does it taste like?"

Bryle was ashamed to admit it, but the first thing he did when he stepped onto the farmhouse porch was reflexively draw his service weapon and prepare to defend himself. Because the Governor's slightly sleepy bodyguard mistook the blue-faced crops in sunglasses for invaders or even dark spirits. Having already recovered from his shock and seeing the calm Farmer watering this very crop, Bryle felt that by asking what it was, he would get more questions than answers. So he was like: "Nope, not today" and went back to the farmhouse.

When some time ago Irene had only seen the sprouts with the not yet formed blue fruit, she was even intrigued to see what kind of 'unusual fruit' Farmer had planted and what the crop would taste like. Sweet, or maybe with sour notes? Only when she got the ripe fruit on the kitchen table, the Amethyne's personal chef was no longer so enthusiastic. This... fruits looks like a head and was looking at her. Irene's afraid to even touch the 'Qi' fruit, much less taste it. Her Madame would definitely not want such an.... exotic crop for dinner.

Sean decided it would be a hilarious to wreak havoc in the local social media groups with this fruit. So, with Farmer's permission, he took a picture of the ripened 'Qi fruit', posted the picture to social media without any description, and waited. An hour and a half in and Sean and Farmer were dying of laughter reading people's reactions, all sorts of conspiracy about the harvest and even memes (lol). He was also hoping someone would leave a comment about what the fruit was, because Farmer's explanation of "blue fruit from blue seeds from a blue man" wasn't a very clear answer.

"Alissa, my dear. What is this?" Alissa can't give a clear answer to her mother when she shows her the unusual fruit. It seems to Alissa that her dear spouse Farmer themself does not know the answer to this question. The girl was utterly perplexed, and neither her own knowledge of farming, nor a single book from the library about crops, helped her to find the answer. She hoped that Farmer had not used something harmful to grow this fruit...

"What's this abomination growing in your garden? Why is there foreign magic coming from that thing?" Jio is in full earnest preparing for a defensive pose with his katana, because that 'Qi' fruit looks like it's about to pounce on him and Farmer. Elf doesn't trust this crop, whatever it is in the first place. And when asked how Farmer grew this stuff in the first place, the answer struck Jio like lightning. "You... took strange seeds from a suspicious man and thought it would be a great idea to plant them?" Yeah, It's going to be a long conversation...

Not even strength and persuasion from Farmer will be enough to keep their spouse Maddie from her determination to get into the Water Research Facility & Laboratory with this strange fruit. Because the ginger girl has to find out what it is in the first place! After all, the lab assistant was also watching the process of the Qi fruit's growth, for she was curious about what Farmer was growing. And when the already ripe fruit showed its face with sunglasses, Maddie wants to show it to Aguar to see how to even classify it. Sigh, not Aguar, if he found out there was magic involved...

"Whoa... So creepy... It's like some kind of comic book villain." Phillip kept twisting and twisting the "Qi" fruit in his hands, looking at the "face" of the crop, and even tried to take off the "glasses". It didn't work, however, because it was like they were super glued on. Oh, well. And although the physical therapist is eager to find out what this miracle fruit tastes like, he still wants to take precautions and find some information about the Qi fruit, because maybe it's poisonous???

Blair nearly died laughing when she saw the face of the ripe blue fruit. "Yoba, what a bogeyman!" And how on earth did her partner Farmer manage to grow a fruit with a face like that? Oh, she wants to take a few if Farmer agrees. To taste it? No, the young fisherwoman had thought of a more fun use for this crop.... Such an ugly fruit would definitely be a good way to prank Keahi for the last prank, hee hee hee... Just a harmless joke, Blair promises!

...Anton thought at first that he hadn't fully woken up in the morning, and that he had just imagined a blue face on the kitchen table. Except that when the architect came back from the bathroom already fresh and invigorated from a cold shower, the face had not disappeared from the kitchen table. ...Ok, and then what? How should he even react? And should he even be reacting to this? Because Farmer is not perplexed by the strange fruit in any way, they treat it like a normal apple or banana. ...Alright, then. Anton silently hopes he doesn't get "sunglasses" from this fruit in his portion of salad.

Well done, Farmer, just great! Making Flor nearly faint because they decided to put some ripe Qi fruit on the dinner table before going to bed, without warning the red-haired spouse for doing so. The poor, sleepy girl wanted to drink a glass of water at midnight, but she ended up throwing it all on the floor and screaming, mistaking the fruit for human heads. Now Farmer is ashamed now... And rightly so - they shouldn't scare Flor like that!

Kiarra's face twisted at what she saw. "Honey, you didn't use any fertiliser or seeds from Joja, right? You didn't take anything from them?" Her first guess as to the origin of this strange fruit was immediately the much disliked greedy company with the blue logo. Joja always like to spoil pump vegetables and fruits with all sorts of harmful substances of unknown origin to make them bigger, and as a consequence - to sell them for more money. Even when Farmer explained to her that it wasn't Joja, the girl still remained sceptical. Because it's... not natural. Something is wrong.

Zayne thought that it would be at least tactless and rude of him to voice his first thought out loud when Farmer presented them with the 'fruit of their labours'. Especially since he loved his spouse and knew what a wonderful farmer they are, unrivalled in the entire Republic. But... What is it? The Amethyne family heir has seen some rather unusual and sometimes even strange delicacies on his own dinner table and on the tables of other noble families. But a fruit with a face... Someone, who apparently ordered Farmer to grow the fruit just so, has... a very specific flavour.

"Ew," was Ysabelle's only reaction, and to be honest - many would have agreed with her conclusion about the blue fruit with the snickering face and sunglasses. Even Farmer didn't argue with their partner's opinion about it. Really, ew (no offence, Mr. Qi). The girl simultaneously wants to ask what this fruit is and doesn't want to know anything about it, figuring it will be further questions than answers. People in the hotel have demanded stranger foods and delicacies, so the blue face fruit isn't too much of a shock to her. But still - ew.

"Hmm, why the face?" How does Farmer know, Paula? When they took the assignment from a, ahem, familiar person, they had no idea that the 'Qi fruit' would turn out to be exactly like this - a bit creepy, with a human face (but cool glasses!). The military medic wasn't too surprised by this weird crop (she'd seen much stranger food), and if the fruit wasn't poisonous and wasn't an allergy sufferer's worst nightmare, why not give it a try. "Heh, I wonder if anyone would dare to try this food on a dare"

"No, thank you, my soul. I'm good with an apple," June politely declined as Farmer, having harvested a ripe crop from the greenhouse, brought June a whole basket of different fruits and berries from all seasons to the farmhouse. His favourite apples, strawberries, oranges, pomegranate, a blue fruit with a face- Wait, what? Did he see that right? Yeah, the pianist's eyesight was not deceiving him. Later, he'll be asking Farmer questions about the blue weird fruit. In the meantime, he just wants to enjoy the apple.

When Faye thought of fresh fruit salad, she imagined cutting up a juicy and sweet mango, a ripe, with the sour notes pineapple, a delicious banana, and fill it up it with fresh orange juice. And at the sight of the Qi fruit, the waitress honestly lost her appetite. Is it... really a fruit? Why does it look so scary? It's also smiling... Oh, yuck! Farmer, that fruit winked at her! Brrr! No weird blue fruits on the dinning table, they're scary!

Shiro jumped up sharply, almost scalding hot, when he saw a field of a hundred blue smiling heads from the porch. Everywhere he turned his head, there they were: smiling, the light bouncing off their... Glasses? What the hell is that, anyway? "People want to buy fruit like that? With a scary face?" No, he's not going to try it, and the Farmer isn't advised to either. It doesn't look good, and it probably doesn't taste good anyway- No, Farmer, making this 'Qi' fruit into a smoothie isn't a good idea either... Just don't, please.

Corine never thought people could come up with something like this with crop. Well, she'd seen square watermelons, heart-shaped pears, and even star-shaped peaches on TV. But a melon-sized blue fruit that also had a human face..... Even she didn't expect that. Really, she doesn't understand why the Farmer glued it on. "Oh, I didn't glue the glasses on, dear, they grew with the fruit!" Sorry, the glasses did what?

"No offence, dear, but I'll probably pass." Oh, Farmer didn't grow this fruit for food, but for someone personally? Whew, what a relief... Um, Kenneth didn't mean to be rude or offend Farmer in any way, but the mere thought of that Qi fruit that very much resembled a head being cut with a knife made him cringe and disgusted. The inventor doesn't understand who needs fruit grown in this way, but he's not good at farming, so Kenneth will leave the matter to his spouse.

[reyesranch]

this is my thoughts on what has been shown to us on screen/in canon from the perspective of someone who shipped bvdd!e and was deadset on them being endgame until seeing what unfolds in season 7 and why i slowly came to the realization that bvdd!e may forever stay fanon and choosing to embrace bucktommy rather than making it my enemy because buck is my favorite character and seeing him happy makes me happy.

certain 7x04 spec/response: buck is misconstruing his feelings for tommy with what he’s actually feeling for eddie, because it’s obvious he was trying to eddie’s attention not tommy’s—well at least tommy gave buck his queer awakening so that means bvdd!e canon is possible!

what actually happened: buck made an effort to try and get to know tommy, his attempts to get close with tommy are interrupted by eddie. so buck spends the rest of the episode desperately trying to get invited to hangout with tommy too, because buck is a silly goofball who’s unknowingly crushing hard and too nervous to ask tommy to hangout again in fear of rejection or eddie and him already having plans. buck fully processes what he was doing was for tommy’s attention right before they kiss which gives tommy a 🚨gay🚨signal. tommy being buck’s queer awakening is about buck and buck alone. tim minear confirms the entire episode was a bait and switch and that eddie was the red herring to the audience. at no point in the episode does eddie indicate having feelings for buck, in fact eddie doesn’t even realize he’s been unintentionally leaving buck out and feels bad about it.

continued below ⬇️

certain 7x05 spec/response: photo stills release. everyone is so sure that eddie and marisol will be sat across from buck and tommy and eddie is going to grow jealous watching them. this doesn’t end up happening but thats ok. as the episode continues we’re sure tommy isn’t going to return and eddie will continue his catholic guilt arc which will lead to his own gay realization. buck comes out to maddie and it’s almost feels like maddie knows buck has feelings for eddie with her “if theres something you need to tell eddie, you will” line (because of previous dialogue like bucks boy crush on eddie) we get buck then coming out to eddie which we think might spark up eddies feelings as well after finding out his best friend he has unknown feelings for is bisexual. marisol moving out means marisol bones soon, yay! buck asks tommy for a second chance, not what we wanted but ig it’s fine because tommy can be buck’s first boyfriend to show him the queer lifestyle.

what actually happened: buck is entirely too nervous but excited to be on a date with tommy. tommy seemingly knows how to make buck and blushing mess which is something we haven’t really seen before and its adorable. buck gets overwhelmed and screws himself over with his “hot chicks” line which he absolutely did not need to say at all when eddie and marisol run into them. we’re given conflict within the date because we need to see buck fully embrace this new queer side of himself, and although the storyline overall is fairly lighthearted the way tim and oliver wanted, it’s still good to show what it’s really like for a lot of newly realized queer people, especially someone in their 30s who isn’t necessarily ashamed but is still coming to terms with the fact that they are queer and having to tell people after spending so long as presumably “straight”. especially a masculine man like evan buckley. the rest of the episode has buck mourning what he could have has with tommy because he really likes him, he accidentally comes out to maddie because he can’t stop talking about how stupid he felt ruining his chance, maddie tells him he’s not a fraud, that he obviously is nervous to tell eddie because that’s his best friend and a queer man coming out to their (atp, canonically) straight friend is a scary thing to do. he doesnt want things to change between them. we eventually get to see buck coming out to eddie and seeking acceptance from eddie which he automatically is given. its a weight off his shoulders, his best friend accepts him and reminds him it changes absolutely nothing between then and in fact, eddie tells buck to call tommy because buck admits he cannot stop thinking about him but is scared of rejection again. tommy agrees to meet with him and they actually have a very beautiful conversation, buck takes responsibility for his behavior on their date, tommy assures buck he isn’t really upset about it because it was mostly about not wanting to pressure buck into something he wasn’t ready for. buck then assures tommy he is ready for something and thinks that something could be with him. their coffee date sweetly ends with tommy agreeing to be bucks date to maddie and chim’s wedding and then holding hands.

now this is where i truly started to lose my rose-colored shipping glasses and where the plot became completely lost to me.

certain 7x06 spec/response: the karaoke scene is going to be huge for bvdd!e. tommy not dressing up for the bachelor party is red flag behavior. they didn’t have to write him being on standby, even he’s on standby he could have worn an 80s band tee. he put in no effort meanwhile bvdd!e have matching costumes*. buck and eddie are going to drunkenly kiss/almost kiss which causes tension between them. buck and tommy will end up broken up.

what actually happened: tommy showed up to the bachelor party despite being on standby, meaning he could have open been there for 5 minutes before having to leave. no one else dressed up in costume or 80s themed, tommy wasn’t the only one. tommy only leaves because he gets called into work and promises buck he’ll try his best to make it to the wedding. buck is visibly upset but they hug and buck even tells him to be safe. most of the episode afterwards is chimney focused and at the end we get tommy showing up for buck, sooty, grimey in his turnout gear because he didn’t even bother getting changed because he wanted to show up for buck. tommy is showing he will put in effort of buck, even if it means not sleeping for at least 12 hours and showing up after fighting a fire all night and day. they kiss in the middle of the hospital, buck brings tommy to the hospital room with soot all over his face, basically coming out to everyone including his parents. buck is showing he’s not anxious to let people know he’s queer anymore which is a huge contrast from 7x05.

certain 7x09 spec/response: eddie is shown after buck gets his award, this points to bvdd!e endgame because everyone else has their loved ones shown after their medals. tommy’s comment about “enjoy while is lasts” is rude and pointing to bucktommy bones. the still we thought was between eddie and buck isn’t right but! buck still shows up at eddies house to confront him, ditching tommy for eddie.

what actually happened: yes, each character has their loved ones shown on screen after their medals, but i think the reason they chose eddie for after buck was because he was the last one called and it easily fit as his named is called while he’s on screen. also no one denies eddie and buck love each other, it just may not be romantic. tommy’s comment perfectly shows how he and buck contrast each other but work very well together as well. it’s very black cat x golden retriever vibes between them from what we’ve been shown. it’s also mostly there to foreshadow the return of gerrard. buck doesn’t ditch tommy for eddie because buck doesn’t stay all night, surely it’s implied buck still went to tommy’s afterwards. buck goes to eddies because he’s genuinely worried for his friend, thats what friends do for each other, tommy can wait an hour more for buck it’s not a big deal.

certain 7x10 spec/response: buck is going to ditch his date with tommy for eddie. bucktommy bones!

what actually happened: eddie fucks up bad. buck is there for eddie because he’s a good friend. buck and tommy’s date isn’t interrupted at all, in fact it’s nice that it was squeezed into the episode to show were their relationship is currently at. tommy can tune into buck’s emotions, he can tell needs to say something and asks if he’s okay. they’re still on getting to know each other terms but are becoming comfortable sharing vulnerable things about themselves to each other. they’re also openly flirting and being sexually suggestive with each other. bucktommy bones… oh boy. they sure do.

after each speculation became untrue, proven wrong, people seemed to double down on their toxic behavior and hatred of a fictional couple/person because they weren’t getting what they wanted to the point of harassment towards cast, crew and other fans. now im not saying all bucktommy shippers are angels, but the hostile reaction of people from one subset of the fandom left a bad taste in my mouth. most accounts i enjoyed i ended up blocking due to toxicity and their outright bullying towards those who enjoyed bucktommy even if they still believed in bvdd!e endgame. no im not embarrassed of being a multishipper or ‘jumping ship’ (i still ship bvdd!e i’m just convinced it’ll stay fanon atm) it’s a completely normal thing to happen in fandom, it’s not a sin to begin liking other ships or to start shipping characters with other people that you previously shipped with someone else. there’s a reason people enjoy buck and tommy together and it’s not because we just want to see two men kiss, that argument is so overused and bullshit because mlm ships so prominent in fandom you could use that argument for literally every mlm ship in existence that you hate. despite the echo chamber certain toxic fans are in, bucktommy has been well received by the GA and other 911 fans who couldn’t care less about buck and eddie as a ship. overall, this does not mean your ship isn’t valid, canonicity is not the end all be all of ships, it’s about having fun and being creative. it’s when you start trying to deny canon and villainize characters/ships/shippers simply because it exists that causes people to start making posts exactly like this.

[wishluc]

Hi there! Can I request a Yandere headcanons of Kafka and Himeko?

I don't do headcanons sorry!

Content Warnings: stalking, implied kidnapping & imprisonment

As you watch Himeko leave the ship, the sight of her captivating smile and the warm grasp of her hand around yours is burned into your memory, bright and blazing like her presence. Something inside you shrivels up as she walks away, yearning for her warmth again, and you can feel yourself visibly deflate once she's completely out of sight, the rhythmic clacking of her heels completely faded into the background. You close your eyes and try to recall the sensation of her lips against your skin, but your mind can't conjure the same feelings despite the image still evident. Even the stars around you seem to dim after her absence.

"Well, what's got you looking so down?"

Kafka walks out from behind you, her steps slow and purposeful as she regards you with an uncharacteristically stiff smile. Dread washes over you as you realize she must have seen the entire meeting, and you internally berate yourself for not noticing sooner.

"Nothing." "Mm, is that so? You're going to hurt my feelings, darling," she says, her voice devoid of any of her usual airiness, and her usual smile lacking its charming quirk, "not sure I quite like being second place. "

She cocks her head to the side, her eyes looking frighteningly dark despite the lights around her, "But I especially dislike being treated as a fool."

You flinch back, hands gripping the railing almost painfully tight now, "I wasn't— Himeko isn't—"

"Oh, so it's Himeko now?" She sighs, her tone dripping with faux sorrow—beneath it, you catch a tinge of something more bitter, more resentful, even— "My, and here I thought we had something special."

"We don't have anything," you correct her, "...were you watching the whole time?"

Her sharp smile is all the answer you need, "you're losing your touch, dearest, if you couldn't tell I was here. Or were you just looking for an excuse to give you more training?"

You roll your eyes in reply, but some part of you is unsettled by her confession. Even if you had been too distracted to realize, Himeko is far too clever and observant to let something like that slide. She should have noticed the additional presence immediately, but didn't.

Or maybe she wanted Kafka to stay.

The two of them, you were aware, weren't on the best terms. You had always chalked it up to their differences in ideology and reputation, but recently, you've started noticing that your presence seemed to fuel their antagonism in some way; feeding into the flames of their rivalry.

Himeko, like Kafka, was always planning ahead; planning her next destination, her next expedition. You had seen her in action yourself; standing behind her as she gazed on ahead, and later positioned beside her as she pointed out the station you were heading to, so you were certain there was rarely an occurrence she didn't account for.

"I really didn't know," you admit, soft enough so only she could hear, "otherwise, I wouldn't have..."

"You really need to stop with the excuses. It really isn't helping your case—especially since they're all lies," she puts put a finger to your lips, causing you to swallow your protests, "none of that, now."

"Honestly, I'm not that bothered by your silly games," she declares, filling you with uneasiness, "and lucky for you, I happen to like challenges."

It should be a good thing, that she's not too upset by your meeting with Himeko, but you know better than to take anything Kafka says too lightly.

"Kafka," you say, desperately trying to appease her, "you know I'm not leaving you. I can't, even if I wanted to."

It's the truth, for once—you could try to hop off the ship when Kafka was away, but she had long latched one of her colleagues onto you like some kind of terrifying guard dog, and you had no intention of testing just how dedicated he was to his post. Besides, even if you were to leave, you had no doubt that she'd find a way to track you down and drag you back.

At the very least, the statement earns genuine laughter from her.

A gloved hand rests on your back, and Kafka moves closer to you, "Terrible little thing you are, darling," you find some comfort in realizing that there's actual amusement hidden in her words, "I don't think you know how much you mean to me."

No, and you probably won't ever know, but your verbal assent isn't the response she anticipates, so you remain silent.

"Terrible," she mutters, her other hand cupping your cheek, "but all mine, aren't you?"

all works © wishluc. do not copy, steal or repost my works on other platforms. (including translations)

[laebrumme]

Arlefuri is Interesting, Actually

So I was put onto a twitter thread that's been circulating around the Arlefuri community, and I was feeling to be in a bit of a fighting mood and I found a couple points brought up by the author to be the starting point for some more interesting discussions regarding fandom culture, so I decided it wouldn't hurt to have a "little" discussion around this thread and the points that are brought up.

A quick reminder here that I am not going to link the thread or use the author's name anywhere in here because this is not an attack post. While I am here to defend a ship that I really like and see a lot of value in against a really silly twitter post, I am not here to attack or be aggressive to anyone. This is something we really need to understand and my least favorite part about twitter is how it discourages thoughtful and elaborate response, which is why I'm writing this on my tumblr instead of writing a QRT or something. I want this to be thought out and civil, and there's a very good chance that the thread was written entirely in good faith, however questionable some of the arguments made are.

the amount of arlefuri shippers ive seen that keep going "you just hate it bc its yuri" without actually seeing an explanation why its such a good ship and why they keep defending it like its so canon.

Something that I've noticed as someone who has only been engaging in fandom for about a year and a half now and who got to see Arlefuri pretty much grow from inception to now is that, after a while (especially on platforms such as twitter that are so thoroughly infected by hate and aggression) communities will develop defense mechanisms based on certain patterns of how they've been attacked before. Especially in communities which are highly antagonized for one reason or another, it's easier to have a short list of most-likely reasons someone is attacking their ship than to actually engage with the argument. One of the most reliable and effective canned arguments that one might find in a particularly combative yuri enthusiast's toolbelt is the "you don't like yuri," or, in more extreme examples, the misogyny argument.

I'm not going to get into the MLM vs WLW in fandom discourse here because, quite frankly, I'm not interested and it's completely not related to anything going on here, however the argument is common within WLW ship communities because of the tension that exists between MLM, m/f, and WLW communities, especially because in a huge number of fandoms, MLM far outnumbers the WLW. It's a reliable argument to so many because, more often than not, the anti's argument is coming from a place of anti-yuri sentiment.

In the case of Arlefuri, attacks are so frequent that, for those that decide not to block and move on, it's more efficient to pull out a tool from the toolbelt instead of engaging with each and every anti post. Arlefuri shippers are, to put it bluntly, sick and tired of it and just kinda want to do their own thing.

yes, this sounds very yuriphobic as smn who ships renheng but i do ship yuri ships like acheswan, bronseele, clorivia, eimiko, and many more. not that im against rarepairs, but arlefuri is hardly a rarepair anymore, and the way the shippers are defending it, makes it feel like its as implied as the ships i mentioned above

I mean, doesn't everyone do this? Something else I've noticed is that every single HYV ship that has even the smallest basis in the canon has people that consistently go on about how, because of certain observations regarding design/symbolism/voice lines, the ship is canon. It's important to remember, though, that lot of it is playful banter or reactions borne of excitement, and very rarely are people actually insisting that Arlefuri is canon or even implied to be canon. Because with the exception of HI3 bronseele, there isn't a single HYV ship (that I know of) that is downright confirmed. And yes, that even includes Acheswan.

I think the observation being made here is a result of two things: Arlefuri as a ship just getting bigger, and how fed-up Arlefuri shippers are of being antagonized. The first point is very obvious: the more people there are out there to talk about a ship, the more confident and loud those discussions are going to become. The second one though is more interesting because I think, as a community gets antagonized more and more, a very natural response to people talking poorly about a thing you like is to engage with it even more. A lot of people, instead of taking the fight back to those that are attacking the ship, instead back away from the argument and, as if almost spitefully, engage with the ship even more. Hell, I've even seen some of my fellow arlefuri shippers talk about how this discourse is going to make them ship arlefuri even harder. It's just a natural response almost.

Also I genuinely don't understand what rarepairs have to do with the discussion at hand. It's brought up again later in the thread, and even there I'm not sure what point it's trying to get across. There's a though process there, but whatever it is it isn't communicated in the thread, which is no fault of the thread author since twitter is stupidly restrictive as a platform for arguments and expressing thoughts (that's why I'm writing this on tumblr).

literally what is the 'flavor' and 'dynamic' in arlefuri other than 'happy and grumpy' and 'enemies to lovers'??? they barely have any backstory together other than "girl one traumatizes girl two and gives her cake as an apology because it doesnt benefit her to be on bad terms with girl two". there is nothing appealing about their relationship, and honestly i feel like furina should just be her own person without that romantic nonsense.

Well I'm glad you asked!

Arlefuri is a ship that has a lot of layers and a lot of different interpretations, and I think the only way to get a proper understanding of why so many find the ship appealing is to go out onto the Arlefuri tag on ao3 and read some of more popular fics that are out there. However, I'm going to offer my personal understanding of the ship and why I enjoy it so much.

In short, the allure of Arlefuri to me lies in a simple concept: safety.

I think a lot of the misunderstanding around Arlefuri and why Arlefuri gets accused of being proship so often lies in a misunderstanding of Furina's story and what Arlecchino represents in said story. Namely, Arle wasn't the only person that made Furina feel unsafe during the events of the archon quest. Literally everyone that was involved in that quest was doing practically the exact same thing that Arlecchino did: cornering her into a position which would force her to reveal her identity as "false" archon. So coming out of the archon quest in Fontaine, Furina has not a single soul she can trust in Fontaine anymore because of how thoroughly traumatized she was in those last few days of her run as archon. Every single person involved in discovering the truth behind the Oratrice betrayed Furina in every sense of the word.

Obviously, the game has to make Furina warm up to the traveler for marketing sake (which is one of the only gripes I have about Furina's story), but aside from that, she still has a distaste for people outside. Evidence of this can be seen with how she talks in two distinct vocal modes which I'll get into here more in a bit.

This is all to say that, one, Furina is starting from scratch relationship-wise and can trust nobody, and two, that Arlecchino is no more of an antagonist than anyone else. The only difference is that Arlecchino was more forward with it, and Furina had built her up in her head as the big bad that would finally out the entire operation (that's where Furina's fear of Arlecchino comes from).

Where this all gets interesting is when you consider Arlecchino as pretty much a symbol for all that betrayal that Furina faced. Arlecchino, just like the traveler and crew, cornered her in a position by complete surprise that would, with one more move, force her to either prove herself as archon in one way or another, before they discovered that there's more to the story and moving their attention elsewhere. When you consider Arlecchino as a symbol of that, then what a relationship w/ Arlecchino represents is Furina learning how to trust and feel safe in the presence of other people.

This is a dynamic I explore in my own fic, "What Do You Want?" and is something that is explored to even more depth in the Arlefuri bible, "A Fatui Harbinger in Lady Furina's Court." Hell, even the biggest chapter of my own fic which is the catalyst for the relationship that is explored for the rest of the fic is literally called "Safety." The entire point of the ship is for Furina to find safety in someone and, through Arlecchino, to learn for the first time in her 500 years of life how to trust and love people.

I could continue on about why I enjoy about Arlefuri all day, if you can't tell, and I could start discussing the nuances of their grumpy/happy dynamic and all the gender stuff and various other examples of incredible writing and interpretations of the ship, but I think you get the idea. There's depth here. You just have to look for it.

arlefuri shippers+ships are fine IF you acknowledge that your ship is barely even canon (maybe until more infois released) and that there is no reason to be defending them so hard over very very very little crumbs, when most of those crumbs are actually headcanons that you made up yourself.

Again, nobody is earnestly going out there and defending the canonicity of Arlefuri. We're defending something completely different which I'll discuss in the next section. But even then, why should we? Why is a ship okay only if we acknowledge the lack of canonicity in a ship? We all are taking part in a culture that was literally borne of taking one canon or another and doing really silly things w/ it. That's why our fandom ancestors borrowed the term "canon" from religious studies and applied it to fandom: they needed a way to differentiate the stuff that was officially a part of the media and what was being written by fans.

We're all here to have fun. We're playing with dolls and making them kiss. There is absolutely no harm in us doing our own thing and engaging in a ship just as, say, a renheng shipper would. Just because a ship isn't canon doesn't mean that the shippers have to wear big signs on their backs that say "our ship is not canon and we are aware of that." This point feels strangely targeted in that way.

im not an arlefuri hater, infact, i was indifferent to it because i knew many people would ship it eventually, but seeing the ship grow more and more and the shippers attacking nonshippers with NO explanation on why they are defending such a copium ship is starting to make me hate it.

Okay, here's where the main discussion point is, and this right here is why I'm writing this whole essay/response thing.

This is a strawman.

This is not happening.

Every single Arlefuri shipper I've personally talked to could not care less if you don't like Arlefuri. Not every ship is for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. But there's a very big difference between not liking a ship and antagonizing a ship.

One of the things I absolutely hate about fandom is how much power lies in the accusation of being "proship." If someone is able to accuse someone of being proship and that accusation sticks, whether it's true or not, that person is screwed. And the same thing goes for ships. If a ship is successfully labeled as "proship" then that means that everyone that might publicly engage with that ship is going to also be labeled as proship, and that means they're going to be antagonized, even if there is nothing wrong with the ship itself.

Because people misunderstand a single cutscene in the game, people tend to label Arlefuri as, at best, toxic, and at worst, proship. And after a while, this gets tiring, especially for a community that is relatively small.

As stated before, Arlefuri shippers are so tired of being attacked and accused of various things, and because of that, engaging with people that attack the thing that we like in a respectful way becomes really really hard, and at some point, these defense attempts have started to lean more and more aggressive.

This is where I think that perception of Arlefuri shippers being so militant come from: they're defending a ship that they like in a rather aggressive and fed-up way which is very easy to interpret as attacking people for just having opinions.

Like I said before, there's a big difference between not liking a ship and antagonizing a ship.

For some reason, so many people antagonize Arlefuri. And because of how much it happens, responses have become, more often than not, either canned as discussed before, or angry.

i am lgbtqia+, i support and love love lgbtqia+ ships (including hetero ships bht thats for another conversation) but i really dont see why arlefuri is such a popular ship.

I agree, that is a separate conversation, but I find it really odd that the author found it important to spend valuable characters pointing this out.

like i said before, rarepairs are fine and fun, go for it. but if youre going to mindlessly attack people without explaining your reason, you're going to be just like most neuvifuri shippers who like to see 'nonchalant tall person' have sex with 'smaller, more childish (mentally) and petite person'. its not the ship you like, maybe its just the image, the fantasy, the thought. or you're just projecting.

There is a lot to unpack with this last point.

First of all, setting aside accusing arlefuri shippers of attacking again which we've talked about, this is straight up infantilizing Furina. Again, I'm assuming this thread was written in good faith, but if it wasn't, that's an insidious thing to throw into the thread to make that implication. As much as I'm not a fan of nvfr shippers, even they don't deserve that.

Furina is bubbly and energetic, silly and a bit out there, but she is not childish. If you pay attention to any of the quests she's in post Masquerade of the Guilty, you'll notice that (at least in the English dub although I'm assuming it carries to other dubs as well) Furina has two vocal modes with which she speaks: one for when she's in public situations with people she isn't super familiar or trusting with, and one for when she's talking one-on-one with the traveler or otherwise in situations where she feels safe. That latter vocal mode is what almost all of her voice lines in the character menu are spoken in, and is what you can consider her true self (her Ousia version of herself) which is much more thoughtful, calm, and straightforward. When she is acting as her true self, she is incredibly mature and her 500 years of life and stress really start to show.

What I'm assuming the author is thinking of when they call Furina mentally childish is how she acts when she's around various people. This is an act. She still pretends to be someone she's not when she's out and about, and that version of herself (her Pneuma aligned self) is one that is designed to be as appealing as possible: energetic, silly, and slightly arrogant. Once again, it's a character, or if you're more partial to Autistic/neurodivergent Furina headcanons, it's her masking.

Another really weird implication that comes out of this last point (at least to me) is that any and all Arlefuri content is just smut. That's obviously not true--just take my corpus of Arlefuri work as three examples out of however many. And I think it's not fair to judge the morality of most ships purely on the smut. Yes, sex can be a very useful tool for exploring the dynamics of characters, and that is used quite often in Arlefuri (same as literally every other ship known to fandom), but, w/r/t Arlefuri specifically, so much more interesting discussions exist outside of the bedroom, and some of the most seminal and impressive Arlefuri works are those that do not focus around sex. "A Fatui Harbinger in Lady Furina's Court" by DarlingMistaken, yes, is rated Explicit, but only because of one or two chapters. The entirety of the fic is an exploration of Furina's PTSD and the safety dynamic I talked about earlier. Eris's "All Bark No Bite" is completely Arlefuri sex free for the first 16 chapters and has a lot of interesting discussions of Furina's loneliness leading up to the smutty chapters. "Embers" by ChonkCatto is a slow burn romance which dives even deeper to the psychological trauma both Arlecchino and Furina have faced, as well as an exploration of Furina discovering her sexuality. And while I'm not a huge fan of tooting my own horn like this, I'm personally really proud of the discussions I have about power, trust, agency, and how love needn't be loud and passionate in my sister arlefuri fics, "What Do You Want?" and "There Must Be Something Here".

And I also want to point out that literally every ship any of us likes is purely because of the image, fantasy, and thought. That's the point of fandom. I know the author is particularly talking about the sexual side of things, but even then, that's why we do what we do. We like the idea of our favorite characters smooching, and so we make them smooch. Sometimes it's for reasons that takes an essay 3k words and counting to explain, and sometimes it's because "I find both of them hot." There's nothing wrong with that, and there never has been. If you want to read more about my thoughts on this topic specifically, you can read my previous post on here, "A Short Discussion on Fandom Culture"

Finally, I want to leave y'all with a reminder that discourse like this a fire that only you can fuel. Twitter as a platform is designed to both encourage saying things that will bait a reaction and to encourage responding to said bait in as reactionary of a way as possible. And because of the character restraints built into the app, that makes communicating your full thoughts incredibly difficult, and starts forcing people to rely on gotcha's and mantras instead of properly discussing things. And when people start echoing the same things over and over, distain in those spouting those mantras is developed in people, no matter the intention. So just block and move on. Take a page out of the fuqing shippers' book and just move on, because unless we all engage in long discussions over thousands of words, nobody is going to listen to each other because twitter is designed for people to not listen to each other.

This is a war that nobody is going to win, and it's so much better to pack up your things and return home from the front lines. It's so much better if you let people like what they like and not like what they don't like and say what they will say. We're all just a bunch of random ass nobodies beefing about fictional characters.

Just block and move on. It's so much better.

Trust me.

[bluerose5]

I'm writing this because a) it's my blog, I can do whatever the hell I want and b) I've been seeing such an increase of these types of posts on my dash and for the website/app that preaches that they're about "community", some of y'all are pretentious as fuck when it comes to fandom.

Why am I seeing all these damn posts lowkey belittling people, whether it be in a "joking" sense or otherwise, about how they do fandom? Then the OPs wanna cry in the replies about how they didn't mean it that way when people address it, and some of these posts go completely unchallenged as well. And the fact that so many people are reblogging these posts is so discouraging! Y'all, I hate to tell you but just because you headcanon things for this reason over another, just because you stick to a certain amount of canon compared to others, or you characterize so and so character based off of these specific bits of canon, oooo it's so "in-character"... Say it with me now, THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BETTER FAN IN ANY INHERENT SENSE.

These posts have been veiling these sentiments under joking tones or by specifically trying to make it a preference thing, but there is often an air of superiority to them that is so easy to see, especially as a writer. I cannot stress this enough. STOP ALIENATING YOUR FAN CREATORS BY SUGGESTING ONE METHOD OF FANDOM IS INFERIOR TO OTHERS. If it's not hurting anyone, then be supportive. Now, of all times, is not when we should be tearing others down with these slick ass remarks, thinking y'all actually did something with those posts. And if anyone reading this feels guilty or defensive about what I said for some reason or another, then evaluate why that is and how you can do better to support your fandom creators better.

To any creators who need to hear this, write that crackfic, write that ship with no interaction, write that crossover. Get silly with it, and just write it, no matter what the haters say! I remember when I was younger and just started reading fanfiction, some of my favorite indulgent fics were those where the cast of characters would read the book/watch the movie/interact with their chosen media they were from. Those fics got me through hard times, and I loved the author's notes where the writers spoke with the characters. Point is, don't let anyone take your fun, magic, and joy out of fandom. Don't let them convince you that what you do is somehow lesser or "cringe" because you're having a good time. Somewhere, someone out there is your target audience and they're more than grateful for what you do! 💙

[demigod-shenanigans]

Lean on Me

Summary: After the war, Leo finally has some time to process some pretty big feelings he’s been avoiding. Thankfully, Piper is there to help.

Shoutout to my friend @halcyon-hyacinth for beta reading!

Word count: ~7K

So, I passed 250 followers a while back and I thought I’d take this as an opportunity to do a test run of tumblr fanfic posting (Ao3 version linked in the title). Therefore, have my very first HoO fic from all the way back in March! Feat. lots of Leo and Piper friendship, Leo being an oblivious pining little idiot over Jason and some very minor background pipeyna.

———

Even though it had been weeks since they’d gotten back home, Leo was sometimes still in disbelief about the fact that he was back at Camp Half-Blood after how long they’d been away. It felt weird not falling asleep to a rumbling engine anymore. It felt even weirder to wake up in a cabin full of people.

The number of people being home involved was something he didn’t think he’d ever grow used to. He’d grown up with just his mom and the very occasional visit from family who couldn’t be bothered to care about him after she’d passed away. Then there’d been the foster homes… well, the less said about those, the better. Point being, it was strange how different things were here, and despite the months he’d lived here before the mission, it never stopped feeling that way.

Leo liked his half-siblings, but he wasn’t great with people. He was even worse at being any kind of role model. Most of his time as head counselor for the Hephaestus cabin had been spent on constructing the Argo II. What exactly being head counselor involved now that that was done… that was a problem for future Leo, he supposed. Current Leo was perfectly content hanging out in the same space as some of his siblings, watching their various contraptions grow as he worked on his own. So far, no one had asked him to do anything else, save for the occasional question about his epic adventures. Those he could handle just fine.

Part of Leo missed the time on the Argo, beyond the soothing familiarity of piloting Festus. Not all of it—not the constant monster attacks or knowing the world might end or having to replace the mast four times in the same week. Not the lonely moments when everyone seemed perfectly content without him. But he missed the group breakfasts, and the peaceful bits of the night time watches he’d had with his friends, before something inevitably tried to eat the ship. He missed running into Jason when he got up for a midnight snack, the strange comfort of knowing neither of them could sleep. He missed teasing Frank, and spending three hours arguing with Annabeth about one of her architectural sketches that was as gorgeous as it was physically impossible to construct. Something about the contained space of the ship had made certain things easier. Camp wasn’t huge, but most of them got swept up in their respective tasks, and it just wasn’t the same, especially since Frank and Hazel had left. Some of the Romans had stayed to help with the rebuilding effort, but they’d needed at least one praetor back at Camp Jupiter, so he’d gone, and Hazel had gone with him.

Still, for the most part, Leo was glad to be back home. It was nice to not be fighting for his life every thirty seconds for a change. It was even nicer to be back in his usual tinkering space. Note to self: if he ever built another flying ship, it desperately needed to come with a furnace. His own fire was handy, sure, but setting his limbs alight wasn’t the safest or the most effective way to forge Celestial Bronze. Kid Leo really should have thought his crayon sketch through better.

Speaking of projects he should have spent more time thinking through… he dipped the hot metal disc into cold water, waiting for a moment before he retrieved it with his bare hands.

He’d always felt kind of silly wearing protective gloves considering he could reach into the furnace just fine without it affecting him. (He’d done that exactly once, before a very startled Nyssa had ruined his fun by insisting that the head counselor maybe shouldn’t be teaching his not-fireproof younger siblings that it was fine to stick your bare hands into the furnace. Being a role model was seriously boring sometimes.)

Leo eyed his device, uncertain. It looked better than it had before the last correction, but… yep. Like he’d suspected, the folding mechanism still wasn’t working right. On the last few attempts, the helmet hadn’t unfolded at all, and now that it had, it wasn’t retracting correctly. He had a feeling it had something to do with uneven volume distribution, but he’d gotten too attached to this prototype to just start over now. There had to be a way to make this work. He’d rebuilt a whole metal dragon nearly from scratch, for crying out loud. Like Hades was he going to let a piece of armor defeat him.

Leo was still thinking about whether to take a break and try sketching out the prototype to see if that would help or continue to just wing it when Piper appeared.

“You busy?” She looked tired, but satisfied, like Leo felt when he had a breakthrough on one of his projects at two in the morning.

She’d been dropping by more often since they’d gotten back. Jason was about a million times worse.

It felt… not like old times, exactly, since the time when they’d been a trio of friends and Piper and Jason hadn’t been dating had mostly been Mist memories. But it did feel nice.

“Very. Currently having a staring contest with my newest project. Don’t distract me, or it’s going to win,” Leo joked.

He was met with an eye roll, but Piper’s smile didn’t waver.

“Right. What are you working on, and how worried do I need to be about it blowing us all up?”

“Not very, I hope. That’d kinda defeat the purpose.” He showed her the palm-shaped device, a few parts of metal still sticking out of the sides where they weren’t supposed to. “Retractable helmet—though currently not as retractable as I’d like it to be. I’m tired of Jason constantly getting concussed. There’s only so much brain damage any demigod should be subjected to, ambrosia or no.”

Piper snorted.

“Yeah, he could really use that.”

She was looking at Leo in a strange way—like he’d just answered correctly on a game show he hadn’t even known he was participating in.

“Why are you in such a good mood? Do I need to be worried?”

“Reyna said my combat skills needed more work. She’s spent all morning repeatedly disarming me in three moves.”

“Your girlfriend is terrifying.”

“Yeah, she is.” Piper sighed contently.

Leo was happy for her—she hadn’t been dating Reyna for long, but he’d never seen Piper smile this much before. In some ways, it was easier than seeing her with Jason. It didn’t come with the same weird pang in his chest.

That didn’t mean being around Reyna had stopped feeling weird to Leo, though. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she hadn’t fully forgiven him for getting possessed and firing on her home. Not like he’d fully forgiven himself for it, either. He was still seriously considering that Slap-Leo-in-the-Face machine. He was unfortunately pretty sure there’d be more opportunities to use it in the future.

“I really don't get what Reyna’s problem is. You’ve got excellent aim when it comes to firing smoked hams at monsters. We just need to come up with a convenient way to carry those around now that we don’t have the cornucopia anymore.”

“Har. Har.” Piper rolled her eyes at him. “Anyway, any chance you could interrupt your glaring contest with the helmet for a bit? I need to talk to you.”

Leo’s mediocre mood had started to improve slightly since the start of their conversation, but now it took a massive dip. Those words never meant anything good.

He squashed down the first question that popped into his head—that being ‘who died’—because Piper was still smiling, so even if someone had died, it probably wasn’t anyone they liked.

More likely, Leo was about to be scolded for something.

“Whatever it is, it wasn’t me, and if it was me, it probably wasn’t on purpose,” he tried, mentally running through all the ways he’d messed up lately to figure out which one she was most likely to be mad about. It wasn’t that Piper scolded him a lot—half the time, she was a very enthusiastic participant in his nonsense—but maybe her rule-abiding girlfriend was being a bad influence. “If it’s about the glitter bomb I placed in Drew’s handbag-”

“You did what?” Piper asked, crossing her arms.

Great. So she hadn’t known, and Leo had just snitched on himself. Good job, him.

“I needed to test the mechanism for a new monster fighting gadget.” He shrugged.

“And you didn’t let me help?” Piper did actually look kind of offended. So Reyna wasn’t being that bad of an influence. Good to know.

“Hey, I can’t let you have all the fun. I’m head counselor of the Hephaestus cabin, remember? Someone’s gotta teach Harley about strategic glitter bomb placement. I take my responsibilities as an older brother very seriously.” Piper snorted, and Leo knew he was forgiven. Still, he wasn’t willing to risk any more guesses. “So what did you want to talk about, if it isn’t that?”

“Walk with me?”

“Slightly ominous request, but okay.”

Leo dropped the prototype into his tool belt to be retrieved later, then started fiddling with his rings until the crutches folded out obediently. Those weren’t his own design, unlike his prosthetic leg. They’d been a gift from his siblings. He didn’t need them as much at the forge, where he mainly went from briefly standing up to sitting down a lot, but outside of that, they were extremely convenient. It was great to not have to worry about where to put them so they wouldn’t topple into the campfire during singalong.

Relearning to walk was more frustrating than he cared to admit, but hey, at least he was about ninety percent less dead than the Fates had wanted him to be. That was pretty great.

“And me wanting to talk to you is ominous, why, exactly?” Piper asked, an eyebrow raised at him.

“She said, luring me into the woods like any half-decent murderer would,” Leo joked. It wasn’t that he actually feared for his life—not after Piper had put up with him for this long—but the whole situation did make him nervous. “For the record, I will be the world’s most annoying ghost, so, you know. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I was actually going to help you, but I think I’m pushing you into the canoe lake instead,” Piper deadpanned. “Or maybe I’ll just ask Reyna to-”

“Alright, alright, message received. No need to actually threaten my life.” Leo lifted his palms in surrender, which was a bit of a ridiculous balancing act with the crutches, but entirely worth the effort as far as he was concerned. “Just tell me why you’ve dragged me out here.”

Piper moved to sit on a large rock at the edge of the water and patted the spot next to her. Leo flopped down next to her, his crutches obediently folding back into the jewelry. He swung his legs back and forth, the celestial bronze parts of his prosthesis clunking whenever it hit the rock. That maybe wasn’t good, but he’d fix it later if it got dented. His fidgeting always got worse when he was nervous. There wasn’t much he could do about it.

He pulled a spring from his tool belt and started bending it with nothing specific in mind to keep his hands busy. Maybe he’d end up with something handy to use for one of his devices later. Maybe he’d just end up with a completely ruined spring. Who knew.

“Like I said, I wanted to talk to you. Preferably alone—or as alone as you can be here, with the dryads and the harpies everywhere.” Piper sighed. “I feel like we’ve not done that in a while.”

“Yeah.” Leo looked down at his sneakers. “Not that I can remember most of the time we did spend alone.”

That still stung. For the first few weeks after they’d freed Hera, Leo had assumed his and Piper’s real memories of Wilderness School would come back—that the influence of the Mist would fade. It hadn’t. They’d saved Hera’s life, but she wasn’t quite so grateful that she could be bothered to fix the memories she’d messed up by interspersing them within a bunch of fake memories of Jason.

Leo wasn’t even sure what was made up completely, and what had been Hera taking memories that should have been him and Piper messing with Hedge and testing out some of his faultier contraptions during lunch break and replacing her with Jason. Part of him wondered if it had been the two of them sneaking onto the roof for the meteor shower, sitting next to each other and lamenting about how romantic this would be if they weren’t both so painfully single.

Wondering was all he could do, for most of these moments. He couldn’t remember.

Some memories were clearer than others, like Piper telling him about her dad, or when she’d realized he was down on the anniversary of his mother’s death. She hadn’t pushed him to talk about why he was upset—just suggested they sneak into the kitchen for some low-stakes theft. He remembered being sprawled out on the carpet in her room afterwards, laughing, victoriously splitting a box of strawberry ice cream. But even in those memories, Jason was there, distracting the staff and laughing with them.

It was like Hera had pressed Control-Alt-Delete all over those first months of their friendship, leaving only fragments. File that under even more reasons to hate his evil babysitter.

“It doesn’t change anything, you know,” Piper said gently. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad that Hera messed up our memories. But memories or no, you’re still my best friend. I wanted to make sure you know that.”

“Hate to break it to you, but Jason is my best friend,” Leo joked, because he absolutely could not let Piper get away being this sappy, no matter how relieved it made him feel.

Piper raised an eyebrow at him. “Sure.”

He had no idea what that was supposed to mean, and honestly, he was afraid to ask.

“So did you bring me out here just to talk about how amazing I am? Because I’m absolutely down to talk about that any minute of the day, obviously, but we really could have had that conversation back at the forge.”

Piper rolled her eyes at him, though it was in a way that Leo knew was more fond than anything. He’d learned to tell the difference at some point. Which, if nothing else, really did say something about how much she rolled her eyes at him.

“I actually wanted to talk about why you spent so much of the mission avoiding me and Jason. A lot of the time before the mission, too, honestly.”

Oh, great. Part of him had hoped she wouldn’t notice, naive as that had been. He kind of wanted to bolt, but that would just make her bug him about it more. Besides, running with crutches was really inconvenient, and Will would not be happy with him if he overdid it again. Forget Nico being scary. Will could be terrifying when he wanted to be.

“Maybe I just thought you wouldn’t appreciate my presence as much as you should,” he joked, but the words felt hollow in his throat. He really didn’t want to talk about this, but he couldn’t exactly skirt the topic forever.

Avoiding them hadn’t been a conscious choice—not at first. It had been a lot of work to finish the Argo in time. Then he’d had to fix it. Then he’d had to work on Festus. And, well, a bunch of their missions required him to go with Hazel and Frank instead of Piper or Jason. Most of them, really.

Leo wasn’t sure at which point he’d realized he was just making excuses to not be around his two closest friends. To not see them be perfectly happy without him. He loved them both so much, and he’d hated the resentment he’d felt looking at them. So he’d found reasons to look somewhere—anywhere—else.

“Well, you were wrong.” Piper looked at him, expression soft. She’d known him too long. His humor deflections only worked so well when the other person was aware that was what he was doing. “We both missed hanging out with you. I know you couldn’t see it, but you’ve always been part of the group. You were captain of the damn ship. We couldn’t have done any of it without you. No matter what some goddess says.”

Leo tensed. “Hazel told you? About the Nemesis thing?”

“She’s been worried. So have I.” Piper squeezed his shoulder. “Talk to me, please. Tell me how you’re actually feeling.”

Piper wasn’t charmspeaking him—she’d done it enough times by accident that Leo knew how to tell when she was—but he still found it nearly impossible to refuse when she looked at him like that. It was obvious she cared. So few people in his life had, since his mom passed away.

The truth came tumbling out, then, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“It’s just, you were probably the first real friend I made, and Jason’s my best friend, and when you two started dating… it sucked, okay? It felt like you didn’t need me anymore.” It was like something burned inside him every time he thought about it. His chest felt hot and painful enough that he kind of wanted to cry. The spring he’d been carefully uncurling snapped in his hand. “I finally got myself to stop running and tried to fit in somewhere, and it still didn’t work. I just found new and exciting ways to be alone.”

No matter what he did, he’d always be the odd one out. The seventh wheel. The sacrificial lamb that no one would miss too much. That was the only role he’d ever been promised.

“Oh, Leo.” Piper hugged him, then, fierce and warm. He sunk into her, hands cramping into the back of her shirt. She didn’t seem to mind. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because, as we all know, I’m the ‘talks about his issues’-guy. Key defining Leo feature.” He tried to smile, but he wasn’t even fooling himself with that embarrassing attempt. His heart was a piece of burnt-up wood, fragile and aching. Human emotions sucked. “Besides, we were so busy saving the world and trying not to die. Me feeling a little excluded seemed kind of unimportant in comparison.”

For a while, they stayed curled into each other like that, in a way they hadn’t really done since Wilderness School. Gods, he’d missed this. But being around her and Jason had just stung too much.

“It’s not. I’m sorry that I made you feel like it was. I haven’t exactly been a great friend lately.”

“Hey, you saved my life a couple times, that counts for something.” Leo nudged her. “It’s not your fault that I’m not great at the whole feelings thing. That’s just part of what you signed up for when you agreed to be my friend. Unfortunately for you, I’m non-returnable. You get the honor of being stuck with me forever.”

Leo had never minded being an only child when he was little. Then he’d met Piper, and for the first time he’d realized how much he liked having a sister. He teased her, sure, but that came with the territory. That didn’t mean he liked seeing her upset.

“I wouldn’t get rid of you even if I could,” she said, nudging him back. “But I know you. I know talking about stuff like this isn’t easy for you. That means I need to pay more attention to it, not less. I should have realized something was wrong. I should have been there for you, and I wasn’t. I was so caught up in my own problems that…” Piper trailed off. She looked seriously unhappy with herself. “I can’t believe I didn’t even notice how jealous you were until after Jason and I broke up.”

“I-” Leo stared at Piper for a long moment, then he burst out laughing, despite his charred coal of a heart. The thought was so completely ridiculous that he couldn’t help it. “Gods, Pipes, I’m not- you’re great, but I don't like you like that. You do realize I can hang out with girls without falling in love with them, right?”

Piper quirked an eyebrow, as if to say ‘can you?’ But the next words out of her mouth were, “I didn’t say you were jealous of Jason.”

Leo felt like he’d just walked face-first into a wall. “I- hang on. You think I- with Jason?” He didn’t feel much like laughing anymore. He felt a bit like he was suffocating, actually—like the time he’d been in that underwater cave with Frank and had accidentally set his oxygen supply on fire.

“You didn’t realize?” Piper asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Oh great, we’re both idiots. No wonder we’re best friends.”

“Pause. Can we take, like, fifteen steps back, maybe?” Leo felt like he’d missed about an hour of this conversation. And sure, he zoned out sometimes, but not that much. “What exactly makes you think I’m into Jason?”

“Do you want the list in alphabetical or chronological order?” Piper deadpanned. “You were literally napping on his shoulder at campfire yesterday. Clinging to him like a freaking koala. Apparently he had some trouble getting you to let go once he got you to bed.”

Leo’s face burned. He had vague memories of drifting off to the crackling fire, his head lolling to the side. He had wondered how he’d gotten back to his cabin. “I haven’t gotten a ton of sleep lately. And I just- I cling to stuff when I have bad dreams. You know that.”

Now that he thought about it, that did explain the strange looks he’d gotten from his siblings this morning.

“Right.” Piper looked amused in a way Leo wasn’t sure he liked. “Then there’s the fact that the project you’re working on at the moment is for him. Or how you’re always trying to make him laugh. Oh, and the wistful little looks you give him. You stare at his mouth a lot.”

“Making people laugh is my thing, that’s not exactly Jason-specific,” Leo protested. Of course he liked making Jason laugh. He was so serious a lot of the time, like at some point someone had decided to drop the whole world on his shoulders and he had just taken it and carried on. Whenever Leo managed to make him laugh, something inside his chest softened. That didn’t mean anything aside from the fact that he liked to see his friend happy. Did it? “And it’s not my fault his stupid scar is so distracting.”

Piper grinned. Yeah, well, he’d walked right into that one. “So?”

“Fine, I do think he’s attractive. Obviously. I have eyes.” Leo shrugged. His face still felt hot. Part of him was worried he’d catch his nose on fire again. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Right, and me walking around grumbling about Reyna being all ‘how dare she be so beautiful and powerful and competent’ was peak heterosexuality.” Piper’s tone was teasing, but her expression was soft. “You know it’s fine if you like him, right?”

“It’s not that. I’ve liked guys before. There was this kid across the street from my mom’s shop…” He trailed off. Okay, so maybe the kid had been a blond guy with glasses. Getting into that probably wouldn’t help his case. “But I get crushes on people a lot. You’ve witnessed an embarrassing amount of them. They’re not- they don’t usually feel the way it does with Jason.”

“So what does it feel like with him?” The teasing had melted out of Piper’s voice. She sounded sincere, like she really was just offering to listen in an attempt to help. Somehow, that didn’t make it any easier.

“It’s… I don’t really know how to describe it.” Leo sighed. “I’m not great at this stuff. ‘This stuff’ being people, just in general. But it’s easy with Jason, in a way that it’s never been with anyone else. I like being around him. It just makes me feel good. He treats me like I’m competent, even when I feel like a colossal fuckup. And he won’t always get it when I ramble about my inventions or fidget with whatever new thing I’m working on while we talk, but he listens like he’s actually interested in what I’m saying. Sometimes he’ll just sit with me, and we don’t talk at all, but it still doesn’t feel weird the way it would with other people. But it’s not… that doesn’t mean I have a crush on him.”

His legs tapped a discordant rhythm against the rock. He couldn’t believe he was actually saying all this. He wasn’t the type to talk about things so openly. Not even with Piper.

Never mind the fact that he wasn’t sure what there was to talk about. Leo’s crushes tended to be pretty easy to pin down, usually. Jason was just… different, somehow.

“So, let’s recap: the reason you think you can’t have a crush on him is that he’s easy to be around and it feels nice?”

“Uhm.” Well, when she put it like that, he just sounded like a moron. “I mean, doesn’t it feel like that for everyone? Do you not feel like that when you’re around him?”

“Not… exactly.” Piper looked embarrassed. “You remember the incident with the giant killer shrimp?”

“No, I fight those about twice a week. You’re gonna have to be a little more specific,” Leo replied sarcastically. He had no clue where she was going with this. It felt like he’d lost several minutes of the conversation again.

“When Jason and I were cleaning up after, I kept wishing we were more like Percy and Annabeth. There I was, dating the guy that was everything I thought I was supposed to want, and didn’t at all know what to do with him. Jason’s great, I’m glad he’s my friend, but we never had those kinds of easy silences. Us being together romantically was a total disaster. I’d just sit next to him with nothing to say, being all ‘wow, this is awkward’ and trying to convince myself that some relationships were just like that.” Piper laughed dryly. “Some daughter of Aphrodite I am.”

“Hang on. Are you telling me that the times you two ditched me to hang out, you just spent sitting awkwardly next to each other in silence?” Leo felt bad for her, truly, but he was also trying not to laugh.

“I plead the fifth.” Piper still seemed embarrassed, but also a bit amused. “Honestly, it’s gotten better since we broke up, but we’re still not great at it. There’s a reason we don’t hang out much, just the two of us.”

“I thought that reason was mostly you and Reyna being attached at the hip, but that’s honestly way funnier.”

“Well, it’s also that.” Piper got that dreamy, faraway look in her eyes again, and Leo briefly hoped he’d successfully distracted her, but his luck didn’t hold. “And it doesn’t help that Jason followed you around everywhere for days after you got out of the infirmary.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Leo snorted. That experience had been so ridiculous that it was easy enough to talk about. “He spent a bunch of time hovering—and I do mean both metaphorically and literally hovering—while I was at the forge. His feet were not touching the ground.”

Piper burst out laughing. “You’re kidding.”

“I wish. I don’t think he even realized he was doing it until I pointed it out.” Leo probably should have minded that. He didn’t need a babysitter. But honestly, getting all that time with Jason had been kind of nice, even if Jason was being an overprotective idiot about it. “You die once, and suddenly everyone’s all worried you’re gonna drop dead a second time. Like, no thanks. Been there, done that, never doing it again. Death really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Yeah, you better not.” Piper flicked him in the head. “You scared all of us pretty badly.”

“Sorry.” Leo shrugged. “Next time I go up in flames and get half my leg chewed off, I’ll try to be less dramatic about it.”

“I really don’t know why I’m friends with you.”

“Because I’m hilarious and smart and I make great tofu tacos?”

Piper put a hand on her chin like she needed to consider this. “It’s mostly the tacos.”

“I can’t believe you.”

“Unfortunately for you, I’m non-returnable,” Piper said with a wink, echoing his words from earlier. “Suppose we’ll just have to be stuck with each other.”

“Suppose we will.”

“Circling back to your little Jason issue,” she said, just when Leo had been starting to hope he’d finally escaped that topic. Damn the fact that Piper knew him well enough to realize he was trying to derail the conversation and didn’t let him get away with it. “I really think you should just talk to him.”

“Yeah, that’ll happen.” The piece of coal in Leo’s chest flickered with heat. He’d snapped the third spring in a row in half, scooping the scraps back into his belt. The dryads didn’t take too kindly to littering. He’d learnt that the hard way. “Jason’s… I don’t know. He’s a born hero. He’s brave and powerful and kind. He trusts other people to lead and know what they’re doing. Even me. He’ll tell me I can do something, and I’ll feel like I can. And then instead I’ll get possessed and blow up half of New Rome, or I’ll make a crappy deal with Nemesis and everyone else suffers the consequences. I’m a huge mess, Pipes. Even if I was into him, what chance would I have with someone like that?”

“Right, you only sacrificed yourself to save us all. Not a heroic bone in your body.” She rolled her eyes again, this time in a distinctly fond but annoyed way. “Putting aside the fact that you did save the world, that’s not a requirement for someone to like you. There’s a reason you were my best friend way before you were ever a hero. And Jason cares about you. A lot. You know that, right?”

“No, I thought he just hung out with me because I’m so hard to get rid of.” Leo was back to looking at his sneakers. Wow, those were some thrilling shoelaces, alright. “That’s just how he is, Pipes. He cares a lot. About many people. That doesn’t really mean much. Besides, I don’t want to mess up a perfectly good friendship. I don’t get to have these a lot.”

It was too much and too raw and he barely resisted the urge to throw another joke at it to make it hurt less.

“With all the love that I have for you, sometimes I think you’re the dumbest smart person I know.” Piper squeezed his shoulder. “Jason wouldn’t leave the infirmary the first three nights after we revived you. He barely slept. We all visited a lot to check on you, obviously, but Jason refused to move.”

“I did tell him he looked like death when I woke up,” Leo commented, not thinking about it.

Not thinking about the days he’d spent drifting, not registering much except faraway voices and the warm feeling of a hand in his and fingers brushing softly through his hair. Not thinking about waking up to a hand pressed to his cheek and blue eyes like storm clouds. Not thinking about the way Jason’s entire face had lit up when he’d said his name. Leo’s brain had still been so filled with fog and charcoal at the time that he hadn’t been sure how much of it he’d made up after.

He’d known Jason had worried about him, with the hovering and all. He wasn’t going to feel all warm and fuzzy just because it was a bit more than he’d realized. Absolutely not.

“Leo…” Piper looked at him, exasperated. Having a friend who had a love goddess for a mom and could read you like a book on top of that was really inconvenient sometimes. She opened her mouth to say something else, but then her eyes widened in alarm. “Leo, your shirt is smoking.”

“Crap.” So maybe he was feeling warm about it. Maybe a bit more than was convenient. His thoughts running rampant was always an excellent way to catch himself on fire. So was him being nervous. Both of those combined… well, this should be fun.

He moved away from Piper to avoid lighting her on fire by accident and tugged his rings off to drop them into the tool belt—a burnt-up shirt was annoying, sure, but there was a reason he didn’t get too attached to most of his clothes. Melting the crutches would be way more inconvenient. Once that was done, he started patting down his sleeves, trying to smother the sparks before it could get worse. The dryads would be furious with him if he started another forest fire.

It finally felt like he was starting to succeed, but because his life was a comedy intent on making jokes at his expense at every opportunity, that was when Jason wandered into the area. One of the slightly charred sleeves he’d just carefully put out immediately burst into flame again.

“I was wondering where you two-” Jason started, then stopped. “Why is Leo on fire?”

“Maybe I just really hate this shirt,” Leo joked, distinctly not focusing on the way Jason’s eyebrows knitted together in an expression somewhere between worry and amusement.

“Do you need anything? Should I get Percy so he can put you out? Or a bucket?”

“A hug would be nice.” It should have been obvious that he was still joking, but Jason was chewing on the stupid scar on his lip like he was genuinely considering it. And yep, Leo was definitely staring, heart migrating into his throat where it didn’t even slightly belong. If he got in any deeper, he’d be all the way underwater. “Sparky, I know I'm, like, extremely hot right now, but trust me, those third degree burns are not worth it.”

“Maybe get him a new shirt?” Piper suggested unhelpfully.

She was visibly struggling not to burst out laughing, and Leo briefly considered that maybe her shirt would look better on fire. He was also reconsidering the bolting option. Maybe Gaia could wake up just enough to swallow him whole? That sounded great just about now.

“Right, yeah, I can totally do that. Anything else?”

“A cheese platter would be nice, since you’re offering. Oh, and maybe a new gaming system.”

Leo wasn’t sure if he was being funny or just extremely annoying at this point. Gods, his jokes always got so much worse when he was anxious. Why did any of these people want to hang out with him? He desperately needed some time off from humans after this.

To his relief, the corner of Jason’s mouth just ticked up into a smile, and Piper did not push him into the canoe lake—though if she had, that at least would have resolved the fire situation.

“Gonna have to decline on the other stuff, but I could get some sandwiches, since you two missed lunch. Is it… are you sure there isn’t any other way I can help? I don’t want to just leave if you’re upset.”

Jason was looking directly at him, soft, worried eyes and all, and if he kept looking at him like that, Leo would fully combust. Jason staying right now, nice as it sounded in theory, would be the opposite of helpful. Leo really didn’t want to accidentally melt part of his prosthesis again. He was pretty sure demigod insurance wouldn’t cover that.

“No need to go all mushy on me, Superman,” Leo tried, his voice barely working. Gods, what was wrong with him? “I’m fine. Don’t start hovering again.”

“That was one time!” Jason protested. “And the last time you went up in flames-”

“It was three times,” Leo corrected, because like Hades was he ever going to let him live that one down. “And this isn’t Gaia, okay? It isn’t- I’m not in danger or anything. This is just me being my usual smoking self. Seriously, I’m good.”

Jason still didn’t seem entirely convinced. He glanced at Piper, who looked meaningfully back and gave him a nod in return. That was… slightly worrying. Them communicating in facial expressions was never a good sign. They might have been a terrible fit as a couple, but they’d still spent enough time together to develop some alien language that Leo couldn’t understand. Constantly being in life-or-death situations together apparently did wonders for your ability to silently communicate.

“I’ll make sure Leo doesn’t burn the forest down until you get back, don’t worry.”

Leo thought that was slightly unfair. Sure, his left shoulder was still on fire and currently refusing to go out, but he had managed to keep the fire from spreading after it had eaten his entire shirtsleeve. He’d probably manage to extinguish it completely the moment Jason and his stupid smile finally left the area.

Leo needed to get his shit together and make sure this didn’t become a regular occurrence. If he started to burst into flame every time Jason smiled at him… well, that would be somewhat inconvenient.

“Maybe check in with Reyna while you’re at it,” Leo tried, desperate to change the subject to something that wasn’t him or the fact that he was on fire. “Let her know Piper hasn’t been kidnapped before she sends out a search party.”

Now it was Piper’s turn to blush. Ah, sweet revenge.

“She’s not going to-” she started to protest, but Jason cut her off.

“She was a bit nervous about you not showing up for lunch, actually. She said something about your mom?” He shrugged. “Can’t really blame her for worrying about her girlfriend disappearing, after what happened with Hera.”

“I did tell her what I was going to do,” Piper said, face still burning. “I guess we lost track of time. I didn’t realize we’d missed lunch.”

“Breaking news!” Leo said, extending his arms outward like an overly dramatic TV host, careful to avoid brushing Piper with his burning shoulder. “Two ADHD kids have a shockingly bad sense of time! Also, water is wet! More details at six!”

That got them both laughing, and Leo laughed with them, having to focus really hard on keeping his fire situation under control. It was so easy to feel warm when he was with Jason and Piper. It was a feeling of home—something no place or person had been since his mom had passed away. His heart was all sparks.

“Let Reyna know I’m still hanging out with this dork for a while, yeah? No kidnappings scheduled for the day,” Piper joked. “Oh, and tell her I want a rematch for this morning.”

“I’m honestly afraid to ask, but noted.” Jason met Leo’s eyes again, smiling, and Leo smiled back, trying to calm the live wire feeling in his chest. “See you in a bit?”

“Only if you really do bring sandwiches.”

Jason laughed and gave a thumbs up before he disappeared between the trees, thankfully missing the way Leo’s entire left arm caught fire in a last nervous burst before the flames finally had the decency to flicker out. The live wire feeling stayed behind, and so did the extensive need to fidget, but at least that wasn’t a forest fire.

“Yeah, I really have no clue what gave me the idea that you might be into Jason,” Piper laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. “Gods, you are a complete disaster.”

“The universe is punishing me for giving you shit about Reyna, clearly.” Leo sighed dramatically. “I’m going to get you back for this.”

“You’re welcome.” Piper grinned, elbowing him. “You and Jason would be good together. I really do mean that. As long as you don’t accidentally set yourself on fire every time you try to flirt with him, at least.”

“I hate you.”

So maybe Leo did have a crush on Jason. Worse—and better—Piper actually thought he had a shot. The anxiety he felt about it being out in the open after he’d run from it for so long, the same way he always ran when things got hard, slowly gave way to relief. It might take a minute for him to process all the things he’d been feeling that were suddenly starting to slot into place in a way that actually made sense. But he was glad that, out of anyone, it was Piper who knew. Piper, who understood, even if she teased him relentlessly.

Piper, who was the first real friend Leo had made.

Fate was a funny thing—when it wasn’t actively trying to kill you, at least. Sure, fate was prophecies, and for some people, it was romance, doomed or otherwise. But sometimes, fate was looking at a girl in an old band shirt and faded jeans, and knowing, somehow, that you were meant to be friends.

———

Some notes:

This takes place in a universe where the whole Calypso/Ogygia stuff didn’t happen. The ending of BoO went down a little differently, which is obviously vaguely referenced here and which I’m hoping to eventually do a oneshot about (it’s been sitting in my app at around 2.5k continuously getting neglected in favor of the Orpheus Eurydice fic so we’ll see when I get around to that). Jason and Piper amicably broke up halfway through house of hades, which I do have a oneshot on my Ao3 about that I’ll probably post here eventually.

Yes, technically this fic is part two in a series of oneshots. Why didn’t I post part one first? Excellent question. The thing is, the oneshots are mostly standalone anyway (they obviously take place in the same universe and are loosely connected but aside from missing a joke or two, you’re fine to read them separately or in whatever order you want), and I have a couple more ideas for that universe that won’t be written or posted in order either, so I thought I’d start confusing you early on, lol

…in all seriousness, this is just the only HoO fic that I hadn’t already posted the link to here yet and since it was the first one I wrote, it also just felt appropriate for it to be the first I cross-post to tumblr.

Anyway! Would love to hear your thoughts on this if you have any (here or over on Ao3) and thoughts in general about whether or not you’d like me to keep posting my fics on tumblr. It’s been a long time since I last did that and putting all the italics back in was a little annoying, but it’s definitely doable.

Fun fact! I reread pjo and Heroes of Olympus specifically because I couldn’t afford to get into a new fixation during exam phase. Unfortunately, Leo Valdez whacked me in the back of the head with a baseball bat, and well, here we are. As you can all see, that plan did not go well for me, lmao

Tagging @poppitron360 very specifically since you said you wanted to be tagged if I ever posted any of my fics on tumblr!